Trolling


Welcome back to the Ugly Truth.

I promised myself a break after “date days” and i indeed took it.

i have started work on another series but that should start next week.

Today i have a friend and highly intellectual writer gracing my blog.

Pardon me for the depth of the Post. i am sure you will figure it out :D

Its @MegaPar. Enjoy
*******************

She hugged him tightly.

Maybe if she held tight enough she could generate enough heat to reach down into the depth of his soul. Some warmth.

Anything.

Why did he have to do this?

She had seen him before. Strutting around the camp with his young daughter. Laughing. They had walked over to the meadow and he had picked out daises and made a garland for her hair. He had tickled her and she had laughed. A laugh that it seemed only children could have. An innocent laugh. One not yet aware of the perils of the world. The hate. The unfounded fear that haunts one as soon as they reach puberty.

The girl had spoken in German but she knew enough to catch her say “I love you, Father. He had then kissed her on her forehead and called her his angel”.

They seemed so happy. They seemed like people. He seemed like he had a heart.

Maybe if she held him tight enough he could remember how to use it.

She fell to the floor. Blood pouring out off her nose.

“Choose!” He shouted.

“I can’t” she cried in-between bubbles of blood from her now broken nose. She didn’t even notice.
He held her life behind her. Her reason. Her definition. Her babies.

Born almost a minute apart. The delivery was almost painless. They were her angels. They had not complained when they had to wear jewish stars to school. Not caused any trouble when she could find no food in the harsh French winter as they tried to escape the tyranny that had descended on their home.

“Choose one of them” He screamed again, spittle spraying against her face.

It reminded her of the sea breeze. Back when life made sense. Back when people were people.

“I can’t! “ She screamed.

“Just kill me please but spare my children.”

“You can’t make me choose”

Her angels. Even now they comforted her. Told her not to worry. Told her it would be alright. Said they would wait for her with Michael in heaven.

He reached for his holster. Pulled out an instrument made solely for the distribution of death. He held it to her temple.

It was cool. Cold. Solid. There. More real than anything you could ever imagine.

She laughed. Right before you die you can feel everything. Your senses go into overdrive as they try to collect as much data before they are forever laid-off. Put to stable. Like old race horses turned into glue.

Is this the way it was going to end? On a dusty road? In front of her children?

Her last thought before her brains hit the pavement were,

“He has a nice bulge though”

**************************************
Have you ever had a perception about someone or something prove to be false when you meet and have relations with them?

Have you had to sacrifice yourself for things/people so dear to you?

What did you make of this piece?

I really need you to share your thoughts using the comment box.

Cheers.

The Way You Are


I have had a very very short time on earth and in that little period I have seen so many people underrate themselves, under-value themselves and some just plainly look at themselves and see absolutely nothing worthy. To me, this is simply a recipe for disaster.

Human beings will seek to get as much as they can from such people, be it physical or material as long as they are sure that you don’t know your worth and are simply looking for people to approve of you.

Well today, true to my style and theme I write this to all insecure girls out there and hope this helps you.

I can’t speak for everyone out there but for myself I would say, I’m a decent guy(at least many babes have told me so) :p and I will like to believe that there are a number of decent guys out there.

I tend to always want to look out for the best in people. Half the time I ignore their faults and although it comes back to haunt me a lot I always feel I have done my teeny weeny bit in helping the person.

And if I tell a girl I like her, tharizzit for me. But I’ve come to learn that many girls will rather block someone out because of insecurity issues and other related woman palaver but how I wish that for that moment in time they will just trust that we are not all out to ‘use and dump’ you.

This is my Motto:
If I meet a girl and she thinks she is ugly, not my fault, I like you just the way you are.

If I tell you I like your feet and you tell me you think you have ‘yams’, I like you just the way you are.

You hide a part of you when we are in deep conversations, well I would like you to give me more but still I like you just that way.

I tell you that you have a wonderful shape and all you see is a fat blurb, well I like you just the way you are.

I tell you that you have nice eyes, you say you need contact lenses, I like you just that way.

I tell you that you have a great sense of humor but you keep hiding that part of you because your ‘ex’ didn’t like you, I still like you that way.

I tell you that you dress well but you like going out mostly at night so that people won’t scrutinize you that much, well I like you that way.

Believe me just this once and let us together come out of this dark alley you find yourself in.

All I’m saying is, not all guys want a perfect girl and a girl that is ‘all that’. All we want is someone who is comfortable in their own skin and who is ready to learn and improve herself. #shikena

But you see, even as a decent guy there is a limit to which I can ignore your insecurities and not allow it affect me.

Another ‘decent’ guy might not be so patient and quickly move on to the next P and leave you in a worse condition.

Other guys will happily do ‘chop & clean mouth’. (God dey)

You need to start to see a better you before anyone else will see a better you.

You need to build your confidence and not depend on your mood or state of mind to know whether to smile or not.

There is someone out there that will fall absolutely and madly in love with you ‘THE WAY YOU ARE’ but you have to be ready and allow them love you. If not, they will get away.

Now you might ask how does someone go from being insecure to being a confident person.

*inserts beyonce’s Who Run The World*
I might not like her but in ‘your own world’ you have to first believe that you run it. You are in charge of your life and only you can determine what goes on in there.

You have to have a great structure support i.e. Family and friends. Refer to my post on this topic so that you understand who and what friends and family really are and the role they are to play.

For me, you have to have a personal and wonderful relationship with GOD. There are things that only He can understand and will definitely just calm your nerves and give you an unexplainable warmth in your heart. Don’t believe me, Try it today?

Ask yourself this question: when you wake up in the morning and look at the mirror what do you see?

So, again I have come with all my crazy and funny stuff I know, I wrote this 1month ago but it didn’t feel right to post it then.

Insecurity has robbed people of discovering themselves. Now all we see is people bending themselves to fit the ‘spec’ of the person they are with at any particular time. This is so not right! Or is it?

What’s your take on the whole issue?

How can you and I be of help to people that are insecure?

How can we make relationshiposphere a better place?

As usual share your opinions in the comment box.
Cheers.

P.S. For the first time I wrote on someone else’s blog and tried my hands on humour. Check it out at http://kevinwithanl.wordpress.com , its titled Must Read. Lemme know what you think. Thanks.

McDREAMy


All my life, for as long as I can remember I have had this dream about the how the babe I wanted to marry will look like.

She had to be a maximum of 5’9″, she had to be light brown in complexion(I’m black enough already, so we won’t birth the anti christ).

I’m more of a legs guy(yeah I said it) so she must have hot legs to die for: well shaved and trimmed, no unnecessary darkened knees *cringe*

I’m more bobee over backside. Both MUST be in moderation though and not excess because if I see her whether I like it or not, its her outward appearance that sucks me in.

She had to be able to communicate well; have a good command of the english language and hold herself steady in a conversation.

She had to be comfortable in her own skin and not be jealous of finer looking girls or ‘better dressed girls’, I met you the way you were and I liked you just that way. :D

She had to be have a fantastic sense of humor and be able to make me laugh from time to time. (For me this takes the cake all the time)

A girl that can fit in with my friends easily has completed 75% of the job for herself.

On that note I saw a babe whom I felt passed ‘roughly’ 97% of my checklist(the remaining 3% na down to error of parallax). Let’s call he ‘simbi’.

I had watched her for weeks in school, mid week services in fellowship and church on sundays. In wizkids voice ‘omo toh shan’ DIEE.

Thing is I’m a shy guy and it took me months to gather the momentum and courage to walk up to the girl of my dreams.

I walked up to her very slowly, counting my pace one at a time.

Suddenly I heard my mum’s voice, ‘femi, femi, oya we are late’. Huh?

I turned round and saw no one and kept working toward her.

Again ‘femi, femi’. I knew the voice was real but from where?

And my eyes opened up and there I was, NOT on my way to ‘greatness’ but on my bed, crashing and being awoken by my mum to take her to work. *sigh*

I like what I saw in simbi, she could have been the girl of my dreams but for now that’s all she is going to be………………………. ‘A DREAM’.

So, ladies and gentlemen, most of us have had images of the kind of spouse we will like to have right? NO? If you haven’t oya #slapyourself.

I fear we might never get them and just settle for what God sends our way, if not some people are joking around with lifetimes as bachelors and spinsters.

Question: Does the perfect girl exist?

Please use the comment box to share your views on whether my own view of a perfect girl is on point, feel free to add, subtract and multiply and divide :D.

Ladies don’t feel left out. Are we over-reaching? Should we lower our expectations? Please share your views with us as well. Thank you

Cheers everyone!

“The Concept Of Dating”


cute couple

cute couple

What is about dating that can be so hard at times. I mean c’man, a guy meets a girl or a girl meets a guy and after a couple of ‘hang outs’ they realise they have some chemistry and decide to go into a relationship. I mean in a nutshell this is what it is(or supposed to be) plus or minus a few things. Right? No?
What now makes it so complicated?

Why is it that it takes over your whole life and consumes you when its supposed to complement you and make you a better person?

Why does it make us act silly most of the time instead of helping to fine tune our lives?

So many questions, yet so few answers.

I am no expert and this isn’t entirely original but let’s discuss on certain rules that might/should/could/ help relationships.

1. Dating Rule #1: Don’t Lose Who You Are

Your first priority in a relationship – no matter what kind of a relationship you are in – is to be yourself. To do that, you’ll need to love yourself by ensuring you are ready to date before taking the plunge, as well as having a strong sense of self-worth and esteem.

2. Dating Rule #2: Ensure Every Date is Fun

Not only does trying to make your date happy make you feel good, but it is also one of the first signs of attraction. And studies have shown that when taking someone out on a date, the primary way your date will be determined a success of is how much fun was had. Err? Ok

3. Dating Rule #3: Communicate Well and Clearly

It is impossible to have a healthy relationship without strong communication. In essence, communication is the bridge that forms between partners, helping them create a sacred space in the middle ground where they meet in order to foster love and intimacy. Without clear communication, two people who seem like they are connected romantically to outsiders truly aren’t; instead they just going through the motions, lacking the intimacy they require to move forward, together.

4. Dating Rule #4: Be a Strong Negotiator

When communication alone isn’t enough to weather a relationship through stormy times, negotiation skills come into play. In order to work through the issues that arise in these kinds of circumstances, both partners must be able and willing to negotiate. When done with respect and awareness, negotiation can be the key to unlock a shared bright future.

5. Dating Rule #5: Nurture Your Relationship

All dating relationships require tender loving care in order to thrive. Daily appreciation, respect, attentiveness, reciprocity and kindness all work towards showing your partner that you cherish them and value their contribution to your life.

6. Dating Rule #6: Touch

Now every person in a relationship needs to have that physical connection and needs to ‘feel’ loved and cared for. A cuddle while watching a movie or Afmag, holding hands on the beach, or plain stroking of the hair. Might seem small but trust me it goes a long way, especially for them ladies. :D trust me there is a place for physical touch.

7. Dating Rule #7: Space

Its hard for many couples to understand that not every trouble faced or fight must be sorted out by talking about it immediately. Especially for girls, many times a guy just wants to be alone and clear his thoughts. If and when he does that he will call/text you. And by the way this counts also not only when you fight but when he just wants to hang with the guys. Give him that room to just be free without nagging or wanting to tag along. He will miss you soon enough and come crawling back.

8. Dating Rule #8: Trust

Even I don’t know what to write about this but just know it has to be there some how. No and I repeat *shouting* NO relationship will work without trust. You have to let go and let GOD if not there’s no point being in it.

After writing this and looking through them myself, I have but one conclusion: THERE
ARE NO FREAKING RULES AS TO HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP LAST LONGER PERIOD
.
Who says if you do all these it will last?
Who says not doing any won’t make it last?
I could have written more but said I should leave them out for you all to share in the comment box.
And also please share anything that has helped you in times past; your words of wisdom could save a relationship today. *winks*

P.S coming from the writer of the ‘DIET’ err #6 might not be the way for everybody. #okbye

Cheers.

dating Tips?

dating Tips?

Friends & family


Hey so i was wondering.
Who’s family?
Who are friends?

No we are not talking about the ‘family & friends’ scam from networks like MTN.
We are talking about actual people.

To be honest, a very thin line exists between family and friends. the key is who is actual family and who is a real friend.

I didn’t write this but a friend did and he has decided to remain anonymous.
I will call him the “Ghost Writer” from here on.
I give you family and friends. Enjoy.

The concepts of “friend” and “family” are concepts which have confused me greatly, and have effectively done so since I was about 13 or 14 I’m closer to 30 than I am to 21 now! (yes, those who are close to me will tell you I’ve long had a roving, abstract mind) but its not the definitions of these words that have had me scratching my head for so long, oh noooooo, its more the application to everyday life that’s got me looking for the real me in one of those house of mirrors thingies.

Now if we’re meant to go by the definition of “friend” in the Oxford learners’ advanced-“one who we know and like but is NOT OF THE FAMILY”- then that guy/girl who has always been there for us, picked us up when we were down, shared everything with us, never questioned us even when he/she knew we were lying, had our backs when stones were being flung at us, BUT was not birthed by our mother or does not fall under those ‘conventional’ links that link you to the proper definition of the word ‘family’, can only be a friend. This, suo moto, is acceptable.

Then we have the word ‘family’, defined by the same source to include the “parents, children and their close relatives” and if we’re to go by this definition, then you may begin to see where my confusion takes route from. What I understand here is that the brother who stabbed and killed me, the father who raped my sister, the mother who abandoned me, the uncle who robbed me of my inheritance, the aunty who prostituted my sister, the cousin who raped my wife, the brother who slept with my wife…….is my family……this also is acceptable? HELL to the freaking NOOOOO.

What my rather slow brain is finding it rather difficult to process (and yes my brain is still trying to process this after about 14-15years) is that friend who did everything my ‘family’ was meant to do and even does everything that my brother does, is not family for the simple reason that he does not fall under that category that we have all come to know and subconsciously accept. In the same vein, my brain is also still trying to process the belief that these members of my family who have done these awful things to me and to other members of my family are placed as family over and above those who have played ‘the family’ in my life simply because of that belief and that awfully inadequate definition, in my opinion and its exceedingly laughable.:D

I mean I know of people who took in total, complete strangers into their families and they lived with them ate their food, they were bought clothes, fees were paid, and for anyone to tell me that, stricto sensu, such people can only go as far as friends of the family can only offend the senses of anyone with a mind such as mine.

I mean why refer to a friend as such when the only difference, in function, between him and your brother is that last name? Some might say I’m taking this a bit too seriously as they are just definitions but “I ask you to think of that situation where u’ll have to pick between one and/or the other individual and u’ll realise it goes far beyond dictionary definition”. If u ever get to that stage where u need to pick and you pick, without thinking, that “friend” over your “brother” then why would u still refer to that person as a friend? I mean you can cleanly and, without conscience, cut off a friend for say sleeping with your wife but a la Ryan Giggs, u’d say?!? *sigh*

Another question has often crossed my mind, at what point do you cut off family? If there is such a point, the saying blood is thicker than water comes to mind, family bonds blah zay……but I think all these muddle ups and confusions are based on what u think, I think you define who family is to you, I have “family” I have not spoken to in well over two years, but I have “friends” that I simply cannot go 3days without talking to and checking up on. I have “family” that I need to remember that passage in the bible (there is nothing special in loving a friend, love those who hate u Matt 5:46) in order to help and there’s friends that I’d die for without giving it a 1st thought, let’s talk less for a second……but look through this entire write up……I’ve fallen prey to the very confinement I complain about haven’t I?……..*sigh*

These are just the inner workings of a forever roving mind, feel free to disregard them everyone.

So thats about that. Thanks to the “Ghost Writer”. I don’t even know what to make of this because i too have similar issues regarding family and friends.. please use the comment box to share your opinion and lets see if we can try and at least get to the roots of this rather delicate issue.
Cheers