Well I just couldn’t leave the last post at that point and even though I had another write up in mind, let’s see if we can try and wrap things up on relationships this way……
Firstly there are two kinds of relationships. Interpersonal and intimate relationships.
Obviously we will be dealing with intimate relationships in this post.
What is really an intimate relationship? Off the top of my head I will say it’s a
relationship between 2 mature people who build bonds in view of reaching a set target. And mind you maturity here isn’t talking about age but development of ones thinking and the outlook one has on life.
If you are not ready for one, then you are not. Period. DO NOT be forced into one simply because you are trying to make a statement to someone or simply because you are tired of being teased by people over your lack of ‘a significant other’.
Ever seen someone go into a relationship and all of a sudden becomes someone you hardly recognize anymore? Seen a friend ever drift away from people simply because they are trying to please their ‘lover’?
The story of Lolade comes to mind.
A girl with a very decent upbringing who decided she was going to wait out till marriage and also wait for Mr. right and not just test the waters. She had made good on her promise up until she went to Abuja for her NYSC programme and was posted to a bank.
All alone for the first time she faced challenges like never before and didn’t have anyone to call on for help. Along the way she met Alex, who was a dashing businessman and also a valued customer of the branch she worked in. He took interest in her and after a little persuasion she went out with him and before long they were officially dating.
Lolade, a novice in the game, was easily swayed by material things and the ‘sugar coated words’ of Alex and soon started having butterflies in her stomach.
After her service was done, Alex told her it was fun while it lasted but that he didn’t see them going anywhere and the earlier they broke it off the better.
She cried all night as she thought she had gained not only material things from the man, but the man himself. At least something to show her mum as a ‘product’ of NYSC. But alas she had lost everything to this man. Her dreams, her most prized “female assets”, her VIRGINITY, EVERYTHING…
She had learned enough.
Next time she would be wiser.
BULES’ thought: I have seen love screw with the heads of people(male and female inclusive). I have seen the very essence and foundation of true relationships get entangled with physical and material things.
Lolade held out for as long as she could and its props to her but as soon as she let her guard down it became easy for other things to rub off on her and make her mix up her priorities.
The Question today is :
1 What do you base your relationship on?
2. How long do you study a potential partner before going in?
3. Do you set targets and timelines for your relationships?
WHAT’S YOUR TAKE ON THIS?