The concept of kissing

is this what its all about?

is this what its all about?

We have all seen blog-posts about sex, prostitution, relationships, chris and co. haven’t we? Same topic, same arguments and then everyone just goes and continues the way they were.

Let’s take it a notch down shall we. Let’s talk about the little thing that almost always precedes sex but is given as little attention as one can imagine. We call it kissing or to some “tush” people, hitting 1st base.

Its likely the first ever type of physical interaction you had with the opposite sex(or same sex) and what many of us kinda looked forward to in high school and some, maybe University. Heehee ((hugs))

Is it a sin?
Is it not a sin?
Is it right?
Is it wrong?

There are so many schools of thought on this issue that one easily gets confused as to what’s right or wrong.

As for me I don’t believe kissing(on its own) is wrong but the devils that it can bring about make it a treacherous ground to walk on. Stories of young girls and guys who had plans to keep “IT” till they got married but wanted to ‘explore’ just a little bit come to mind. And from a ‘kiss’ it went to 2nd base then to 3rd base and yada yada….we know how this ends.

I for one went on a ‘diet’, and had no physical contact whatsoever with my last girlfriend. This relationship lasted 2yrs but I TOTALLY ignored that aspect and decided to focus on the emotional and intellectual sides and developed a strong bond that wasn’t based on what I was getting(physically). I did this to prove to myself(and a couple of friends) that it was a possibility and NO I wasn’t getting any outside.

Whether my next girlfriend gets any from me remains to be seen but its a good feeling to want more from the opposite sex than just sex and all its cousins and actually have control over your mind and body. *Na GOD help me oh*

By kissing I am also referring to all physical contact without actual sex and penetration(rated err…… 16 or with this new generation 12??)

I thought to myself one day that a kiss is just a general way of showing deep appreciation and affection to someone dear to you, yes? No? Its my blog and post so accept it. 😀

But to go on a date and already have a plan as to how you are gonna go for the kiss when you are alone somewhere or when you are dropping the person off at home is just plain wrong in my opinion.

I’ve been with a friend who was with his babe for a whole day and didn’t listen to jack of what she was saying. Time to go home, he knows she will give him ‘the usual’ and his face lights up like a christmas tree. I was burnt for the babe and thought to myself, is this what it’s all about?

Looking back, I think this is what brought about the ‘diet’.

If it occurs spontaneously, for me is when it makes a lot of sense(look back, I am sure you will agree with me), looking forward to and planning a kiss kinda kills the purpose and renders it meaningless.

But who am I kidding? How many times is it spontaneous?

Almost every relationship now is based on the physical but it can and should be much more than that.

But these again are just my thoughts. Will you give a ‘diet’ a try?




39 responses to “The concept of kissing

  1. Say “No” to unhealthy diets!


    In the end, Mr Blue, intimacy is personal. People want different things from their relationships and I feel that as long as both parties are clear on their intentions, they would be alright up till a certain time. Kissing or no, someone either means a lot to you or they don’t.

  2. Interesting, and indeed admirable point of view, but TWO YEARS!!! without a kiss(the unplanned type u spoke of) seems rather odd….plus, it seems that at the end of the day it ddnt work out, so how’s an intellectual relationship better than a physical one?

  3. Good post! (Y). But u know u left us clueless on whether u will go on a diet in ur next rship. O well…..

  4. I agree with u. I ve bn on dates where I just pick d gal up nd tk her bk with nothing happening.
    My point is, d diet is possible n it gives u d chance to evaluate ur relationship. It just doesn’t av 2b physical bt who am I kidding. If d guy doesn’t want it, d girl just might want it.

  5. Me I think kisses are very powerful….sometimes, that’s all we need…no hugs,no sex..just a kiss!french or otherwise•

  6. Amusing point of view. 2 years without any form of intimacy in a relationship basically indicates that there really was no bond between u and the unlucky girl. Before going on, as you call it, a diet did u consider the fact that ur partner would have liked to be held and kissed once in a while? I understand some people live a life of celibacy till marriage but obviously you’ve already had sex with other people in the past (since you call it a diet) thus having no physical contact with a girlfriend just so you can prove to ur friends that u can live without sex is both self-centered and irrational. I don’t need to ask if the relationship lasted. I hope the poor girl was getting some on the side.

  7. Lol…maybe the blog should have been titled ‘physcial attraction and its over-ratedness in relashionships’ #justSaying…I thought you wanted to teach JJC’s like me the whole ‘concept’ lol…I feel ur flow though and understand the point you drove at.
    Am with the school of thought that postulates that physical contacts e.g kissing could help stimulate intimacy n oda sturvs if not taken beyond measure.

  8. Well, personal a kiss usualli feels beta wen its unplanned, both parties just feel it naturalli, if its planned its just becomes routine nd strictly physical, so bule, yeah we on d same page!!!

  9. Nice post here ……. I think at the end of the day this topic is really a controversial one and I think is to be managed between d couples involved shikena.

  10. If I was gonna go on a “diet”.I prolly wouldn’t do it for Friends or anything like dt..I will, from a spiritual point of view, God.
    I don’t owe anybody an explalnation or justification on how to live their lives.
    I agree kissing shd be an expression off something deep for ur partner..nice post!
    I’m I’ve been on a diet , but my diet has kissing on the menu..

  11. I think kissing is deeper than sex….yup I said it. I can’t dream of this diet tho. The food one I’m tryn 2 stick to is enuf.

  12. Well… 2years in a relationship without even a kiss is ‘deep’… Being in a relationship should encompass everything.. From emotional to physical to intellectual. But those idiot guys that think after one date, they can deposit their whole saliva inside of you is what I cannot deal with!

  13. Well I believe in a lil bit of both worlds. Som pple think kissn is ova rated, bt a kiss is such a beautifl thng n gves u dis wondafl tingly feeln if ts genuine n unplanned. relationshps dnt hv 2 b about sex wat counts is d undastndn n respect u hv 4 each oda. U n ur partner need not go d whole 10 yards, bt wit a snogg u can neva go wrong

  14. I’ve got a friend who also tried the same thing and so far the relationship is going well,no kissing or hugging.I’ve also been on a diet myself for the past 6 months, so kudos to you 🙂

  15. But then again what’s the difference btwn such relationships and mere friendship?well I guess its all down to what one considers intimate.For someone like me I consider sharing a secret intimate.So there are somethings that my bf would know,but my friends wouldn’t.I dunno if this makes any sense

  16. Sha sha my point is intimacy limited to the physical,praying with your SO could also be considered as a form of intimacy.

  17. I believe it all boils down to the pple involved and how they r able to set boundaries. If u feel we could kiss and not have sex fine, but if u belong to d group dat finishes wateva dey start, dey u can go on d “diet” but calling it a diet is just not it o.BTw Mr Blue u wicked sha, a whole 2 yrs (i think u just made dat up for d post)

  18. Lol! Femi! These ur posts sef. It’s like u r lookin into my head lolz. These r my thoughts on blog. I have just gone on the diet o lolz. I agree. Diet is necessary. And the basis of present day relationships need to be re-evaluated. People now use worldy events as a measuring stick for their relationships. I intend to use the Gospel. *God give me strength* lolz

  19. It’s not about the action but the intention behind it. It all comes back to your spiritual values. Where is your heart? (Matt 5:27-30, Job 21:1) That’s the most important thing. After that, what is the aim of the kiss? To connect in what way? Does it arouse any further feelings? In that case, then avoid it (2 Tim 2:22, 1 Thes 4:3). But the spirit will guide you. Otherwise, i think that it’s really difficult to manage this things by our own physical or mental ability…only through God

  20. Femi…I know where u r coming from and where you are going. But…I for one cannot go on a kissing diet at all. Its all from the view of everyone, u can go 2years, some dudes even chicks cannot do without it for a day. You ave ur point and d world has its own…and am glad u r sharing it. But u know me, and from ma point…pls kiss your partner, its a sign of love and appreciation!!!

  21. Kissing is a big deal to me. I even think it’s a bigger deal than getting felt all over. I refuse to swap saliva with any random person. & yeah, most relationships these days are based on physical intimacy.

  22. U can be physically attracted to sm1 without liking them but wen u like someone, physical attraction is inevitable . Dunno if im making sense but if all u think abt is getting some, then its not a relationship its a parole.. That said, is making out wrong? Christianity says YES! is it extremely difficult to not want to make out? YES!!! like gossiping , lying..etc we all slip up once in a while. so, when nxt u slip up, try harder nxt

  23. Femi, the issue is a bit more complex than you chose to deal with it. First, titling it the concept of kissing and not even scratching the surface before delving into your personal experiences on the subject. I agree that your reason for abstaining was a bit shallow…to prove a point. Now for someone who is totally sold on the fulfilling God’s plan for my sexuality in a marriage relationship, I see that you have all the right motives but the attitude is funny and a tad about encourage us to be totally captivated by the idea of sexual purity to allow us to redefine the exchange that goes on when we kiss or engage in any other intimate activity with the partner; how about explain how an emotional and intellectual relationship can be both satisfying and stimulating; how about explain that a ‘no physical contact’ relationship does not mean a non-affectionate relationship.
    I admire the effort, no doubt, but the post left me with too much to desire. Like I said, if I wasn’t already convinced about the subject, I don’t think you could have changed my mind.

  24. Can i say i totally agree, hmmmm. Yes maybe. Cos for me, No 1, Religion wise its totally forbidden. I feel kissing will not necessarily lead to sex in all situations but its still a starting point. Most people mistake physical attraction for likeness, you might not like a person’s personality but you might be physically attracted to that person and intimacy between two Unmarried persons I feel clouds the mind’s judgement about both parties. And I keep asking myself, what do couples that are intimate b4 marriage actually do on their wedding night? For me, its no more special. And why can’t we just wait and save our selves for just dat one person?

  25. Yea good one femi…I would love to have a relationship just based on the emotional and intellectual side of someone instead of jus rushing wiv d physical…it gives more meaning to a rship

    • Wow……….dis is so on point.Femi I’m wit ‎​​U̶̲̥̅̊ on dis. But there’s no point goin on a diet just 2 prove a point. Wat happened 2 GOD bin against it? Nwayz i guess d best thing is dat we should all set boundaries. It cld seem hard 2 keep bt believe me ITS D BEST.I’m a living testimony sooooooooo.

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