The Bad Spouse: The Tale Of The Gold-Digger(s)

My first ever guest writer @MsWilliams_ gives us a look at the world of female Gold Diggers …. Its the concluding part to our bad spouse series.


Confessions/Tales of a gold digger

When did it become acceptable to be a gold-digger?

Let me start by giving you an insight to the term ‘Gold-digger’. 
Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits or a woman who cares more about a man’s bank account than she does about the man is a ‘gold digger.’

After all, isn’t a woman who sleeps with a man for money – or at least for extensive use of his credit card – called something else?

But then, ‘prostitute’ doesn’t have quite the same glamorous, diamond-encrusted platinum ring to it, does it?

Who needs sexual chemistry when you can have cold hard cash right?

Karen is an attractive intelligent young girl but underneath the pretty tousled hair and shiny Chanel handbags, the message is an ugly one.

‘Okay I’m tired of beating around the bush, I’m a beautiful 25 year old girl. I am articulate & classy, I am looking to get married to a guy that makes at least 5-6 million a year, I know how that sounds but keep in mind that 5 million a year is middle class in nigeria so I don’t think I’m overreacting at all’.

This is a young lady who doesn’t even have her own pot to piss in but she is good living off other guy’s money.

The image of womanhood that the gold-digger propagates is one of a greedily acquisitive airhead. She never reads a book or a newspaper, but knows the ticket price for the latest designer handbag.

Consumption replaces affection. 

Her diamante sandals may be lovely and sparkly, but she tarnishes all of us.

I have friends who are dating rich men just to get designer clothes and jewellery, and one who was seeing a 60-year-old just so he would pay for her to have breast implants

‘Forget tall, dark & handsome. Even love is an optional extra, what I am looking for in a man is a nice fat bank account’ said Lorna, during one of our conversations on a girls night out. Lorna has been dating Micheal, who is 60 years old for about 6-7 months now, they do have sex, and she says: ‘I love him,’ although whether she’d love him if he was a street sweeper is an open question. -_-

‘Would love make me rich or would it feed me. ‘I was not born with a silver spoon & for me to survive in this cold heartless world, I have to use my assets to get what I am’ said Claire as she interrupted Lorna.

These are quotes from a couple of girls who are content with their life style & do not wish to alter what they do. They enjoy it & it makes them happier than love would ever do. 

Some women love money & the trappings of success but they also have a lazy streak, so instead of working hard at making their own money, they look for a free ride, fueled of course by your money but your time & energy as well.

What’s interesting about the new breed of gold-diggers is that they tend to be well-educated and come from good families like karen. But she finds more pleasure gold digging & feels its her way to independence instead of relying on the families wealth :s

A man exists in a gold digging world not as an equal partner in a kind, loving, relationship, but merely as someone to be fleeced for as much money as possible.

It is worth saying that the men are not blameless in this unpleasant sex for designer clothes/ jewellery/breast implants transaction. A man who buys a woman is no better than the woman who agrees to sell herself. It all reduces human interaction to the level of a business deal.

How depressing and how insulting to the millions of women who don’t live their lives according to these mercenary rules.

Some women are trifling, some don’t want to work, most are materialistic & for some its a ‘Gift of gab” that they got. They use what they got (ASSets) to get what they want. 

Looking further ahead, do these girls know the sort of deal they are doing? They are not only throwing away any moral sense, but also their independence, control of their own lives and self-respect.

I know a man who has never married. He’s not gay, hideous or furious, he doesn’t have eczema, halitosis, twitch, stammer or deformed genitalia. He doesn’t live with his mother neither is a plane spotter. He is independently wealthy, attractive, cultured, amusing, kind & popular. He has been in & out of relationships, mainly because the sole purpose of the girls being attracted to him in the first place was his wealth & nothing more. One of his Ex-girlfriends actually joked & said ‘If not because of your bank account, we wouldn’t have gotten this far in this relationship’

The real reason he can’t sign up to marriage is because he fears that all women are only really after his wealth & the family silver, the frugally milked blue chip portfolio & his hand made shirts. any woman he fancies must, as heads follow tails, be out to pick his pocket & empty his safe. He knows that the evolutionary purpose of every woman is to find a male, fleece him, skin him & throw him back a broken shivering pauper. My friend is extreme but he’s not alone. 

I know some  men who are rich, comfortable, working full time & earning good money but are scared of dating because they think all the woman might be attracted to is the size of their bank accounts.

I don’t blame them really. 
Times have changed but the concept remains the same. Whether we like it or not, many women still wish (sometimes subconsciously or quietly) for someone who can be a bread winner for various reasons. 

I write as someone who could have taken the gold-digger route I didn’t take the gold-digger route because I think it is wrong. It is insulting to men and it cheapens women. Every woman who does it polishes an image of womankind that the rest of us then have to try to argue against. 

Most women are seeking wealthy partners who can provide for them, prioritising financial security over other factors like romance, love, looks & compatibility.

Another question is Why  some men are only  interested in a woman’s superficial look? Why are they content to value appearance  over personality traits?

Who knows, I say the two deserve each other– the gold digger who sells herself for money & the man who wants the woman solely for her outside appearance & to show her off like some kind of trophy or apparel. 

When I explain that I have never dated a man for his money, nor have any of my girlfriends, that we have jobs and homes of our own and we wouldn’t dream of expecting a boyfriend to provide either, they look at me with disbelief. 

While we are the majority, the sad fact is, we are all judged as a result of things like this. It makes us all look cheap

But the line between the girl who asks for cash up front and the one who is taken to a designer boutique to choose the latest handbag is surely now as thin as the strap on a La Perla push-up bra.

Girls are not smiling 😐

Shout out to @MsWilliams_ for the piece because there’s no way in the world i could have known all this stuff about girls.
So there we have it, the end of the Bad spouse series. I’m sure there are so many more issues to deal with than this few up here but we didn’t want to bore everyone but we will like you to share your views, thoughts and experiences in the comment section.



22 responses to “The Bad Spouse: The Tale Of The Gold-Digger(s)

  1. Very nice, very very nice. i like how you unraveled this, best said by a female than a male. 🙂 So here lies the secret to my being single, lol.
    Question you asked on why some men are only interested in a woman’s superficial look; this is because they understand that superficial ladies offer next to nothing tangible.
    Nice1 (y)

  2. Its nice to get a lady’s point of view on this delicate issue. That said, I want all females to know that 99.99997 percent of men consider CHIVALRY to be DEAD. Now, that’s a quality number.

  3. Women are not the problem. Men are the problem. Men condition women and brought them to this point. Women are only evolving into these monsters that men created an environment to thrive within.
    The solution for women though is to be patient like the Dame Patience Jonathan’s and Michelle Obama’s of this world. A man that is destined for greatness will not buy you but add value to you. And those are not one and the same thing.

    • Thing is how do you identify a man destined for greatness? Is it written on their head? Plus who says all of such men add value to women?

      • Ogbeni the key is patience. Not written on the forehead but in the stars. It takes time for a man to begin to rise but when he does its unmistakable, the tone of his destiny. Nigerians are an impatient bunch, which is why you will catch an idiot in a private university borrowing 40000 naira just to go to club and owing for the rest of the semester. Its also why they are doing yahoo yahoo. And these 100 level babes are learning how to prostitute themselves for fashion, gadgets and big girl status. This lack of patience that you yourself seem to be devoid of. Now about if such men add value, take Dominique Strauss Kahn former IMF chief embroiled in scandal for the alleged aTtempted rape on a hotel maid. It becomes obvious that such men who believe in the power of their money and position do not always add VALUE to ALL women. However even Kahns wife is still protecting his image and defending him-proof that he added Value to HER. Women need to find their own value add man and stop throwing their vagina at every man who has the semblance of becoming a “good” maga. Truth is men are oftentimes more intelligent than women give them credit for and a sharp man will never leave a woman in a better position if he knows she only values his money and not his big belly for instance. Sure she may profit financially but she will lose a bit of her soul dealing with such men. But when has a Nigerian ever cared about such trivial matters.

  4. That is a super-peachy-keen post. Thanks for really blathering on like that! Seriously, I don’t think I could have spent more effort wishing for something heavy to fall on me to erase that nonsense from my mind!

  5. It’s d way of d world now…evry1 wants 2 make it and babes dnt c d need 2 stress when theriz a guy 2 do dat 4 dem…we pay d price 2 u knw, keep fit, make up, nails…all so we look attractive enuf. Dis is nt 2 say it is right, but it is d way it works…we dnt make d rules. In d defence of d guys, it’s d outside u c b4 u get 2 knw whether she’s nice, intelligent etc.

  6. This is excellent.
    Am girl who values dignity. I strongly agree with the writter “girls are not happy”(I mean those of us who are good). We work hard and even best our male counterparts in or proffession!!! To a guy, a good girl might seem rude, proud, arogant and much more; but the truth remains that she has learnt to be independent. Yes we want to marry, but of a fact the activities of the ‘Bad’ girls make all girls to be seen as same(the hearts of men have been poisoned). I have never dated a guy for his money or for what I can get from, rather its the oposite way arround. For us who have our images tanished by the bad girls, we are adapting to the obvious and also to the fact that we have observed that some guys aproach girl with the idea that “they can buy us all” and so the take the que to get in our pants! Unfortunately they get shockers of their life… I’ll say no more but am on the side of the writer. I strongly wish that this Gold digers can be made to read this piece over and over again, may be they’ll have a rethink afterwards…

  7. I don’t endorse “Gold-diggery” (excuse the word). As a guy, it would be strange if I did, but can you really blame a girl for looking out for herself? “Poor Love” really isn’t it, though. Nice article by MsWilliams though.

  8. In the 1st part of this post, a tiny sub-story was told of a guy who cheats on his girl, and when asked why she stayed, said she loved him and he took care of her needs,I was goin to mention then that the latter part of the ans was the real ans but I thot to wait n c this part,its been confirmed by a female. Now as regards the guy that said he cannot get married, he’s just bein silly and at an old age too…its like sayin cause majority of our country has taken to corruption n stealin, everyone is a thief. As regards girls n guys both, its simple the bad is always goin to out number the good, that’s why we have such problems in the world isn’t it?
    As to why SOME guys seem to be attracted by the superficial, its the same with girls really, ALMOST everygirl has some outward dream look of her guy, if he doesn’t match that description outwardly, she doesn’t even want to get to know him inwardly, why do u thk its so easy to ‘nab’ girls, the idea of hat girls want, outwardly is sooo simple, and by the time u get to know he’s a sham, u’ve been haven’t u?
    As regards, the last post, I do not agree that this is a new problem or that rltshp values have chg’d in general, gold diggers n stewpid guys have always been in the majority, its just that now, they’ve less shame in showin it, c’est finis!
    I actually have much more on this to say but I fear I’ve lectured u lot enough, plus my desk’s rather full.

  9. “A man who buys a woman is no better than a woman who sells herself” I love that part..nice mswilliams.
    As you said, not all women are like this, but some men due to the fact that they hav a default belief that aall women are gold all they ever get are such women..even if a genuine one falls on their laps from heaven..they wouldn’t recognise it.
    As much as the awareness of golddiggers is good. People shd ask for grace and faith to know when the real deal comes into their lives.
    Nice post again.very detailed

  10. 5-6 million ke????? *Falls on Knees, Looks to the heavens, tears shirt*…..ahn ahn….how goiz go come marry?? 😦 …Anyways lovely write up Ms.Williams….
    but i have a question….do girls prefer a self made man or a trust fund baby?? or money is money to them??

  11. In the words of Sir Shina Peters, “money for hand, back for ground”! Its a two-way street aptly put my Mz Williams “Who knows, I say the two deserve each other– the gold digger who sells herself for money & the man who wants the woman solely for her outside appearance & to show her off like some kind of trophy or apparel”

  12. *two thumbs* way up dear. This is very well said. I agree with your point of view. However, I am a hard working young lady about to get a good degree to call my own lol, is it a bad thing if I still think the man should be the bread winner of the house? I am not opposed to working (which i will do as i cannot be house wife lol) or even having a joint account with my husband (which is scary for a lot of people lol). I know that I will make a substantial amount of money, so my reasons for wanting a hard working man with a good source of income is definitely not to take care of me. It is for the future. My little babies that I do not want to have struggle through the ills of the world today.

    I am a blessed child. I have never had to work for money, though i do. This is because my father and mother (mostly daddy though) have provided everything that i need. Not all people can claim this, and i understand. But i don’t think it is wrong to use my daddy as a measuring stick for the man in my life (not my daddy as a success, but certain personality traits :)). Plus, when my dad married my mom he stacked up 😉 lol!

    **this is just my point of view**

  13. Iv gone tru oda posts but i must comment on this, i totally don’t agree with you femi or williams, tho you made a good point at the end “the gold digger who sells herself for money & the man who wants the woman solely for her outside appearance” but the truth would remain, women are attracted to beautiful things, a woman that stays with a not too good guy or a woman that is jumping from one rich man to the other are the same, the difference is the former sees potential, but isn’t potential gold yet to be refined, the only difference is while some women are willing to stay with a man during the refining process, the other is not; so please don’t judge women for what they do. I definitely am not into the gold digging stuff or whatever it is being called now and yes iv been in situations, maybe not as burden-laden as others, but i’m sure if you ask some girls why they do what they do, you would realize there’s a whole lot more that the shoes and bags they get, altho some idiots do it for that; I don’t agree with what Karen or Lorna are doing but i def wont judge them.
    Example: You are a parent with marriageable kids, would you allow your daughter to marry a poor (for emphasis: Poor (#No potential) ) man?
    I know thats totally off point, but why can’t the daughter marry any one she loves even if the man she loves would never be able to feed himself talk less of a family, and i mean no potential.
    Can you marry a man/partner that is impotent?
    Are the parents Gold diggers?
    Aren’t we all meant to be selfless like Christ, why do we look at things such has potential, intelligence, beauty?
    What makes us different from the others (Gold diggers)?
    We all want the best for ourselves.
    Right or wrong should be based on the Bible and Christ.
    # I don’t believe gold digging is right or proper.

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