“The Concept Of Dating”

cute couple

cute couple

What is about dating that can be so hard at times. I mean c’man, a guy meets a girl or a girl meets a guy and after a couple of ‘hang outs’ they realise they have some chemistry and decide to go into a relationship. I mean in a nutshell this is what it is(or supposed to be) plus or minus a few things. Right? No?
What now makes it so complicated?

Why is it that it takes over your whole life and consumes you when its supposed to complement you and make you a better person?

Why does it make us act silly most of the time instead of helping to fine tune our lives?

So many questions, yet so few answers.

I am no expert and this isn’t entirely original but let’s discuss on certain rules that might/should/could/ help relationships.

1. Dating Rule #1: Don’t Lose Who You Are

Your first priority in a relationship – no matter what kind of a relationship you are in – is to be yourself. To do that, you’ll need to love yourself by ensuring you are ready to date before taking the plunge, as well as having a strong sense of self-worth and esteem.

2. Dating Rule #2: Ensure Every Date is Fun

Not only does trying to make your date happy make you feel good, but it is also one of the first signs of attraction. And studies have shown that when taking someone out on a date, the primary way your date will be determined a success of is how much fun was had. Err? Ok

3. Dating Rule #3: Communicate Well and Clearly

It is impossible to have a healthy relationship without strong communication. In essence, communication is the bridge that forms between partners, helping them create a sacred space in the middle ground where they meet in order to foster love and intimacy. Without clear communication, two people who seem like they are connected romantically to outsiders truly aren’t; instead they just going through the motions, lacking the intimacy they require to move forward, together.

4. Dating Rule #4: Be a Strong Negotiator

When communication alone isn’t enough to weather a relationship through stormy times, negotiation skills come into play. In order to work through the issues that arise in these kinds of circumstances, both partners must be able and willing to negotiate. When done with respect and awareness, negotiation can be the key to unlock a shared bright future.

5. Dating Rule #5: Nurture Your Relationship

All dating relationships require tender loving care in order to thrive. Daily appreciation, respect, attentiveness, reciprocity and kindness all work towards showing your partner that you cherish them and value their contribution to your life.

6. Dating Rule #6: Touch

Now every person in a relationship needs to have that physical connection and needs to ‘feel’ loved and cared for. A cuddle while watching a movie or Afmag, holding hands on the beach, or plain stroking of the hair. Might seem small but trust me it goes a long way, especially for them ladies. 😀 trust me there is a place for physical touch.

7. Dating Rule #7: Space

Its hard for many couples to understand that not every trouble faced or fight must be sorted out by talking about it immediately. Especially for girls, many times a guy just wants to be alone and clear his thoughts. If and when he does that he will call/text you. And by the way this counts also not only when you fight but when he just wants to hang with the guys. Give him that room to just be free without nagging or wanting to tag along. He will miss you soon enough and come crawling back.

8. Dating Rule #8: Trust

Even I don’t know what to write about this but just know it has to be there some how. No and I repeat *shouting* NO relationship will work without trust. You have to let go and let GOD if not there’s no point being in it.

After writing this and looking through them myself, I have but one conclusion: THERE
Who says if you do all these it will last?
Who says not doing any won’t make it last?
I could have written more but said I should leave them out for you all to share in the comment box.
And also please share anything that has helped you in times past; your words of wisdom could save a relationship today. *winks*

P.S coming from the writer of the ‘DIET’ err #6 might not be the way for everybody. #okbye


dating Tips?

dating Tips?


25 responses to ““The Concept Of Dating”

  1. Relationships, kai let’s face it we all know wat to do.
    We all know wats right
    We ve heard d stories of others, y It worked, y It failed
    My point ere is, do unto ur partner wat u want done to u.

  2. First (as usual). It keeps getting easier. As for the article, on point as is becoming normal. And thanks for adding the Disclaimer that these tips are NOT foolproof. Oh and as for next time, please don’t mention Afmag as done in tip #6. Cheers!

  3. Hahahaha Afmag tho? Okay Femi I agree wif somethings u’v said here…but relatnships have bcome harder cuz no1 wants 2 b honest and played 4 a fool. So evry1 contains their feelings…
    The part about showing affectn by stroking d babe’s hair is a nice touch…I love dis piece Femi, nicely done!

  4. I think different rules would work for different people….but i think the most important thing to have in a relationship is understanding

  5. this is a good one-I share the same perspective to relationships.Let go and let God-i`m sure God ddn`t mean for relationships to be filled with complications and drama much!…

  6. Been in a passionate relationship, been in a model relationship, been in a ‘frisky’ relationships, hell! Been in a kinds but currently in none.
    Two cents?
    I just want someone that gets me, and someone I get. What makes us more than friends then is the sexual attraction and interaction.


  7. *Womp Womp* I like & Yes ‘there are rules on how to make a relationship last longer’ Either it happens or it doesn’t. Can’t force it 🙂

  8. I can’t say anything new about relationships, I’m in one now with myself ofcourse and we get on real fine. People are truly truly strange, and it really takes the grace of God for any relationship to work. Understanding is overly key to making one work.

  9. First of all- Femi, you’re getting good at this writing business oh!
    Second- Thank youfor providing info for those of us who are ill experiebced in the area.
    Err….that is all. 🙂

  10. something else u might add… ”Comparisms”. No one I think is a relationship ‘virgin’.. We’ve all dated before and didn’t work out. Now you meet someone new, go on dates and the most terrible thing to do is to start comparing the new babe to the last. ”Hnmm, Tola woulda laughed at that my sarcastic comment but this one didn’t….she’s dry jor”. Give everyone a chance.

    err… nice blog. think i’ve said this before..

  11. Femi this is a very gud piece. I have learnt from it. Relationships r nt easy tho, no mata hw much u like each other u guys still have ur differences nd its hw u handle it dat takes d relationship a long way!

  12. I kinda agree with you Femi, all I can say is good friends make the best couple, cus there’s alot of understanding and both parties know themselves. I’d advise becoming friends first, but really how many serious relationships start that way. 🙂

  13. Lovely write up, I would luv to think of it as d basics. Don’t think dere’s a formula 4 relationships, becos people differ & yeah, u’ll always have ur differences…but u can’t go wrong wit these…but strokin d hair tho…’If u mess up my hair!’Lol.

  14. I’ve read a number of pieces/articles/books about dating, but so far I think this is one of the most practical write-ups I’ve seen…kudos, Femi

    I’ve only been in one serious relationship in my short life, and all I can say is dat for a relationship to work, the partners need to ‘clarify expectations’ and ‘communicate effectively’ #DatIsAll

    Btw I’m a 1st tym “commentator” #okbye

  15. I believe other website proprietors should take this internet site as an example , very clean and wonderful user friendly style . “One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.” by William Osler.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s