The Red Lipstick

‘The Red Lipstick’ continues today. Its a story that looks into the life of two close female friends as they fall in love. Along with all the drama, intrigues and temptations that comes with that.
If you missed the first episode, do go here Episode 1 so as to follow the story properly.
It is jointly written by myself and @deolaaa. This is Episode 2.


It was over a game of “truth and dare” many weeks later that Reni told Muyiwa about her last relationship and the drama that ended it. Glasses of wine in hand, Michael Buble playing in the background, she gently narrated how the whole relationship fell apart while tracing out the lion’s eyes on the beautiful brown centre-piece where they we’re both seated.

The light from the home theatre reflected lazily on Reni’s eyes. Muyiwa could see the sadness in her eyes, even with the dim light. He moved closer to her on the floor where they were both seated.

“That’s all actually”, Reni said, blinking quickly to stop the tears welled up in her left eye from dropping.

Muyiwa stood up swiftly and pulled up his girlfriend.

“You look really beautiful and I’m never going to treat you bad”, he said softly into her ears.

It started as small pecks around the lips and graduated quickly to fast and hungry kisses. The kiss lasted the whole of Buble’s “Haven’t Met You Yet”.

She hugged him tightly and fell asleep in his arms. This was a place where she could forget all her worries.

And she had a tonne of those worries.

She started noticing the crack in Tolu and Segun’s relationship when one night after he had called to ask her if Tolu was in the hostel with her because he didn’t get through to her phone. She didn’t know her whereabouts as well.

This happened about two more times until she started to suspect her friend a lot until finally she was proven right.

“No”, she said as segun once again asked if she had heard from his girlfriend, and she swiftly promised to call him once she had more information.

Some hours after that, she saw her get down from an unknown car through their room’s window.

She would have passed it off as one of her newly-met friends but the time was 10:49pm and the pair had shared what looked more than a friendly hug.

She quietly went back to her bed and pretended to read a novel.

Few minutes later, Tolu stepped in and Reni without saying welcome said “Segun has been trying to call you”, with her eyes still fixed on the novel.

“Oh! I turned off my phone jare. His wahala is too much”, she replied, wishing she had lied and just said her battery was low.

Without any reaction to her statement & the novel in her hands, Reni waited patiently, stiffling yawns, for Tolu to explain herself. She didn’t want to pry.

She could sense Tolu wasn’t in the talking mood and laid her novel down beside her bed.

She wondered why Tolu decided not to talk about this particular guy. They always talked about guys. That is what they did. No secrets.

Both girls slept off without saying a word to each other.

Very early the following morning, Reni, no longer able to keep it within her, gently tapped Tolu awake.

“Tolu”, she called in her most quiet tone, “what is happening between you & Segun?”

“Nothing. Did he tell you anything?”, she asked quickly, while adjusting her ankara cover cloth.

Reni sensed the agitation in her voice. She let it rest. She already knew what was happening.

Tolu’s phone rang at this time and Reni reached for it from her own bed and handed it to her surprised friend.

“What were you doing with my phone?”,she questioned her before picking the call.

Reni silently said a short prayer, hoping this went well.

After the call, Reni calmly told her how she saw her with a guy who is not Segun the last night and how she had read the chat between her and a certain Deji when she got up to use the restroom in the midnight.

“So, you are now going through my phone abi”, Tolu’s voice was starting to go up at this point.

“That’s not the point here and calm down. We always go through each other’s phones without wahala so just tell me what you have to hide”, she replied, still calmly seated on the stool beside Tolu’s bed.

“It is none of your damn business and stop policing me, ok?”.

“Are you cheating on Segun? Tolu.”

“Shut up!!!!!!”, Tolu screamed like she didn’t want to hear the words.

“Just shut up ok?! I don’t know what you saw but its none of your damn business”, she continued screaming.

Her voice was loud enough to wake up the neigbouring room occupants at this point and Reni knew better than to say anything else to her. She just quietly walked to her bed and fetched out her “Daily Manna” and Bible from under her pillow.

“We better serve God with action and not just words”, Tolu hissed as she laid back in her bed, covering her whole self with her cover cloth.

The following days, there was an eerie silence between them. They exchanged only a polite good morning when any of them woke up and a forced welcome when any got back from an outing.

Several attempts Reni made at talking to her friend were futile. She saw the guy drop her every night. She went through the pain of receiving Segun’s IM’s and calls every time promising him “she’s just having a moment and would come around”.

This continued for three weeks until Reni walked in on Tolu crying one day. She quietly sat with her and held her hand. After she had calmed down, she explained all that had been happening to her friend, without her asking.

“Reni, I kissed him today…and …and…”, she said amidst sobs, “I cheated on Segun”.

Reni wasn’t surprised, at least, not with the bbm messages she read on her phone.

“Its OK”.

“No, its not OK. Segun saw us. Red-fucking-handed and he…he just drove off”, she broke down in fresh tears.

Reni was sure she heard her heart skip. She felt so sad. She was sad because she knew what Tolu and Segun had was special; Too special to be messed up this way.

“What are you going to do now?”, she managed to ask with her jaw still dropped.

“I don’t know. I feel like dying. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t even like Deji again”, she said in a rush.

“He is proud. He is…he is just not Segun”, she continued.

“Then he shouldn’t matter anymore” Reni burst out, as she felt her warm tear touch the back of her hand.

Some more tears and “its OK’s” later, both girls decided Reni should call Segun for a meet-up.

“You have to tell me everything if I will help you”, Reni told her friend, emphasizing the “everything”.

“That’s all…nothing more..I swear”, she replied.

After several pleas that very night, Segun decided to meet with Reni during his lunch break the following day.

Reni’s already prepared speech was forgotten when the obviously bitter Segun expressed how disappointed he was in her for not telling him about all this with the way he used to call her to talk to Tolu for him.

“I didn’t know they had gone that far”, she said in her defence, “I just read…”

“But you knew they were seeing each other, didn’t you?”, he cut her mid-sentence abruptly.

“I don’t have anything to say to both of you”, he added as he made his way back to his office.

This was deja vu for Reni as that was not the first time she was blamed for Tolu’s lack of judgement.

Tolu was the more spontaneous one;the goat. She was the more responsible and gentle member of the duo; the sheep.

She was supposed to have shown some maturity.

She watched Segun walk into the rotating door.

She couldn’t blame him. She would be really upset too if she were in his shoes.

She felt total joy and relief when a week and half after the whole mess, she received an SMS from muyiwa and it read “Baby, I’ll be back in Lagos later this evening. Mr. O permitted me to leave early. Can’t wait to see you,kisses” ; joy because she would get to see her boyfriend after a week apart and relief because she could take a break from all the drama with Segun and Tolu.

The couple were still not speaking. Tolu cried all the time. Segun did not pick her calls and anybody that made an attempt to talk to him for Tolu, was cut off. He was done.

Muyiwa came in to the nice smell of fish stew in his apartment, Reni had used her spare key and decided to make it a surprise for him. She ran into his arms and they shared a passionate kiss, something they had both missed.

She told him how she couldn’t wait to give him a low-down of all that had happened over the past week after he was done with his bath and food.

She heard the hiss of the gas as the boiling rice water fell onto the burner. She quickly made her way to the kitchen but Muyiwa pulled her back and kissed her more hungrily than before.

“I never want to lose you Reni”, he said, looking into her eyes with his lips still on her mouth.

“Are you ok dear?”, she questioned.

The gas hissed one more time and she detached herself from him to tend to the food.

After shower and food, he told her about his trip and how his plane was filled with a whole lot of old people.

“I thought about you throughout. No eye candy at all”

They both laughed.

Reni gisted him about the whole Tolu-Segun debacle.

“They will both come around”, he simply said.

They both settled on the couch and again she found his ever so comforting arms as they sat to watch a romantic movie, but Reni could sense his distance from the movie and she promptly hit pause on the PVR remote control and snuggled up to him.

“Baby, what is going on?”, she asked.

Muyiwa grabbed her to kiss her again.

“I have missed you”, he said.

Reni resisted and told him he had to tell her what was really going on.

He sighed.

“I applied for a job a few months back and I just received a mail yesterday, saying I got the job”, he said unexcitedly.

“Yayyyy”, Reni chimed, “that’s a good thing right? I mean its a good offer, isn’t it?”. She was giddy with excitement.

“Well, except there is a “but’. Is there a ‘but”?”, she asked, with her teeth clenched and her eyebrows raised.

“Its in Sweden and I leave in four days”, Muyiwa replied.

Her lower jaw dropped. She was visibly surprised.

“We’ll work it out”, she said quietly, faking a smile.

Hours later, she got home and wanted to tell Tolu every single thing that happened earlier and just figure out a next move.

She rushed to the bathroom to empty her filled bladder and almost knocked Tolu out of the way. She was crying again.

She sighed and after she was done easing herself, she went to meet Tolu and hugged her.

“Segun will come around. He loves you”, she consloed her friend, “in fact, I think we should go to the new bar and get some drinks. You’ve not gone out in 2 weeks”.

Tolu’s sobs became stronger. Her body trembled against Reni’s body.

It was the kind she cried when Segun first told her he was done. Somehow, along the way, the cries had gotten subtler.

Something new had to be up, Reni thought to herself. They read each other like books.

“What is wrong?”, she asked, still hugging her.

“I’m pregnant Reni”.

Her shiny eyes told her she was not joking.

What can you draw from this story?

What will you do if you were in the shoes of any of the characters and can you identify with any of the characters?

Use the comment box and speak your mind.


See you next wednesday.

The Case Of The Ex

“See that stupid girl over there!!”, shouted Nina, startling everyone out of their sleepy state.

We all looked up shocked and asked in unison “what happened?” as we all leaned forward on our lounge chairs in the balcony that overlooked the road to get a better view of this “stupid girl”.

I looked at Nina’s face & then I heard a loud voice next to my ear saying “That’s Becky & Kevin!” Uh oh…there was a sudden chill on the balcony…He who was not to be named, in other words, KEVIN, was NINA’S EX!

Nina laid back, looking perplexed and then we all started to mumble and mutter about “that Becky bitch”…”such a fake friend”…”stupid hoe”…we could not believe that Becky, Nina’s own best friend had gone after Kevin, after Nina & Kevin broke up.

“Is that right?” asked lina “I would never do that” said Claire, which brings US to the purpose of this blog post.


YES YES YES, It is not only right but it’s perfectly legal to date to an ex but there are certain points you need to take into consideration first.

I am not trying to preach to anyone but this major question should be analyzed before proceeding: are you trying to keep your friend in the process whilst making such decisions?

We have all had friends with failed relationships and we should respect that but sometimes we all know that some ex’s are too tasty (good looking) to resist.

Bearing that in mind, we also have to admit or sympathize that some girls are possessive or extra protective relating to the duration/intensity/history of the relationship, this is where wisdom and maturity come in.

Another thing you need to ask yourself is, how important is your friendship with the person? Is the friendship worth fighting for?

Now let’s assume you have two brain cells and you have rubbed them together and you have already assessed the situation, this is your good friend, your ride or die…then under no circumstances should you go after you girl’s ex, especially when you know how into each other they were!

What has happened to the ‘Girl Code’ Ladies? It’s rather non-existent these days!

When you find yourself in this type of ‘I-like-my-friend’s-ex situation..The best thing to do is to speak to them about it. And don’t just listen to the words they say, watch their body language. They might say yeah they are okay with your liking and even dating their ex meanwhile what they really mean is, you bitch! How can you even fancy my ex? Did you fancy him all along?…one needs to tread carefully in these sort of situations.

These can be very delicate issues, especially when your mate and their ex shared deep moments (Good or bad) with each other. For example your friend’s relationship with the ex might have ended badly. Then one day you ask your friend if is okay to date the person that caused them a lot of grief. That might hurt your friend or make her even wonder if you and the ex were having something whilst they were together.

The other thing you want to look at is to make sure that the ex has no hidden agendas concerning your friend. You want to pay close attention because he might just be using you to get close to your friend again. There’s nothing like a little jealously up close to make an ex think they made the wrong decision when you broke up. People use this tactic all the time.

Also look at yourself and ask what is your motivation for you wanting to date your friend’s ex. It is considered being a bit unusual to want to date your friends ex lover. Did you and the ex just click in conversation and you have a lot in common? Or maybe it was a harmless meeting and you and the ex just thought you like to get to know each other better. Or are you the reason your friend is no longer with their ex in the first place? Remember what is done in the dark comes to light. Examine your motives and be honest with yourself before you even think about doing anything else. Only go after it if you are very sure it has a fighting chance, if not you will end up on the erring of not only that your friend but all other mutual friends and parties in the know.

In the end if you are going to make a decision, yay or nay to go forth with dating your friend’s ex, Just weigh the pros and cons and make the best decision. And ask yourself if its worth it. Sometimes we have chemistry with people and it just feels right but that is not the only criteria needed to be ticked.

Finding the right person takes a delicate touch and a lot more composure and understanding.

‘Ex’ does mean that they are no longer together and truthfully you can date whomever you want.

Even with the objections of your friend at times you might want to ignore that and just go ahead with it because you feel something very strong for that person but it makes things so much better and comfortable if you discuss it with your friend and the ex so you can move along in peace. It makes it so much better if everyone can get along.

You’ll never know if one day this relationship will become more that it is today.

Or if you and your friend’s ex attend one of those parties or functions and see your friend there. The entire situation will be a little awkward and will take a lot of maturity to avoid a situation developing whether the other party still has feelings for the ex or not.

On the other end of the spectrum. Others feel as though engaging in any sort of dialogue with an ex beyond a swift “hello”, “How have you been?” & “Goodbye” is grounds for suspicion & possible termination should it go any further. Ultimately, if the relationship didn’t last & its understood by both parties, then there’s no real issue.

Or is it a matter of tolerance & personal preference or a blatant violation of friendly codes of ethnics?


We have grown up in a country where religious and cultural practices take precedence and this kind of issue will probably be looked at entirely differently, right?

That will definitely open up another can of beans so we’ll keep that aside and just discuss the logical and moral angles to this story.

It was written by my good friend Gbemi (@MsWilliams_) and I really would have liked to write a guy’s response to this but it won’t have been much different, as for me the same rules apply with our ‘Bro Code’ and what not.

But let’s discuss a few things:
1. When is it right to date a friends ex?
2.When are ex’s off limits?
3. Does the opinion of your friends matter in situations like these.

If you begin to develop feelings for your friend’s ex,WILL YOU DATE THE PERSON?

You know the drill, speak your mind using the comment box.


The Red Lipstick

Hello once again. Its nice to finally grace my blog again with a post. I intentionally took a break after the dating series to recharge my batteries and work on a few blogposts as well.

Today we start a new series by myself and @deolaaa following the intrigues of a girl who goes on a blind date and falls for the date and thus begins a romance that’s comes with twists, turns, suspense and hopefully a happy ending.

I give you, The Red Lipstick Enjoy!

“I can’t wear this red lipstick, Tolu. I mean it is not even my date”, she said, stressing the ‘my’, as she made for the box of Rose tissues inside her wardrobe & started to clean her lips.

Tolu just sighed. She sighed because she was tired of trying to convince Reni that although the date wasn’t hers in the first place, she had now been included & didn’t need to feel like a third leg.

“Is this pink better?”, Reni asked, pouting her lips in Tolu’s direction, “I think it is beautiful and not too loud”, she added.

“Well, its OK!. Can we please leave now? They’ve been waiting for the past 10 minutes”, she replied, trying as much as possible not to sound irritated.

“OK! One last thing, biko, hope my dress isn’t too revealing? I don’t want one guy staring at my boobs all night”

“No Reni! He is a nice guy. Although I haven’t met him, Segun said he is his good friend and he is quite decent”

That was the third time Tolu would say those exact words to Reni and she always got the same reaction – a yimu.

Tolu & Reni had been best friends since secondary school & they also shared the same room in University. Their friendship waxed stronger as they went through thick and thin together.

Tolu met Segun the same day Reni caught her boyfriend pants down with his bestfriend’s girlfriend.

She had gone to buy sharwarma for herself and reni, knowing she would be back anytime soon.

“Can I pay for that?”, a voice asked.

Tolu turned to look at the guy with the cutest voice she had heard since her first crush- her secondary school English teacher.

She declined the offer but gave him her number after he had asked politely, while she blushed on the inside, like a teenager on her first date.

Segun was his name.

She strolled into their room, humming the chorus of Brick & Lace’s Love is Wicked, and met Reni sniffing with her face in her pillow.

Hiding her excitement perfectly, she listened to her bestie’s heart-breaking story of how her boyfriend, Diran, had confessed to her that he had been sleeping with the girl constantly for the past 3 months.

“The annoying thing is that I told Diran just 3 days ago that the girl was overly nice to me when we met at the faculty”, she mumbled amidst sobs.

“We joked about it. I was a fool, a big fool Tolu”, she added, slumping into her friend’s lap.

Tolu’s throat was dry. She didn’t know how to console her friend. She immediately wishe d she had told Reni about the time she saw Diran and the girl together at the school car park.

Maybe that would have made a difference. She thought to herself.

“Reni?”, she called her name while patting her back gently, “I’m really sorry”.

The statement was filled with pity and regret.

One week and numerous boxes of tissues later, Reni finally smiled. She also made up her mind to break up with Diran, thus ending 5 months of dating.

When Segun finally invited Tolu for a date, she agreed but asked if they could have a 2-way date so her bestie would “meet a new guy” from his pool of friends.

Segun agreed to hook her up with his good friend that had been single for a long time- Muyiwa.

“He’s just a distraction jor”, Tolu told Reni the 1st time she informed her about the 2-way date.

The drive to La Chateau restaurant was very eventful. They discussed topics that ranged from weird names people give their restaurants and reasons behind it to the causes of natural disasters. Muyiwa, being a Geologist, took them through a simple explanation of how earthquakes and Tsunamis occur.

Reni was both impressed and captivated by him; his lips movements & gestures did not get unnoticed by her.

One time, when Segun drove through a bend, she even allowed her body brush Muyiwa’s, while she chuckled and tried to get her weave stuck to her lips off her face.

At the restaurant, Muyiwa brought up the idea of each ordering a different meal from the other and then, everybody would have a taste of each meal.

All seated at the table, between long hmmmmm’s when a meal tasted good and a straight face when it tasted strange and laughs, they looked like a group of happy couples from a scene of “How I met your mother”.

Tolu kept side-eyeing Reni and was very happy she was getting along with Muyiwa; the first sign being holding each other’s hands when the newly-introduced “couple” strolled to the cinema after the meal.
She wasn’t surprised when she saw her friend rest her head on her date’s shoulder in the theatre.

So much for “I’m just going to eat while you and Segun do your thing”, she thought to herself happily.

“They sure are getting along”, Segun said while reaching for Reni’s hand.

She nodded affirmatively.

A comfortable silence swept the car on their way home. Segun and Tolu sat infront while Reni rested her head on Muyiwa’s shoulder on the back seat. She soon drifted to sleep and jerked away when there was a gallop. Muyiwa patted her to sleep, stroking her bare arms.

They both saw the girls to their door. Muyiwa and Reni exchanged phone numbers and while Segun kissed Tolu on the lips to say goodnight, the second couple exchanged a long, passionate hug. It was obvious both wanted more but just held out. They felt the fire building up inside them.

A few weeks, various long chats into the night, many unplanned brunches later, Reni started to warm up to muyiwa’s mien.

She was sure she liked him and the feeling was mutual but memories of how her ex had treated her made her have second thoughts.

She couldn’t confide in tolu as she had conflicting interests with segun in the picture.

After more wrangling with her mind she finally agreed to date muyiwa and promptly called him to tell him.

He was ecstatic as well.

She was hesitant but knew the plunge was a necessary step if she was to have any closure from Diran.

“YES!”, Tolu screamed with a fist pump when she received the news, “we are dating friends”, she flipped her hair and winked.

Reni laughed heartily.

She added one more blackberry messenger lovestruck emoticon to the “I MISS YOU ALREADY” she had already typed & hit the enter key.
Have you ever had your spouse confess infidelity to you?

How did you handle it?

What do you do in the aftermath?

Have you gone on blind dates before?
Know someone who has?
Do they work?

Can you see yourself in any of the characters?

Use the comment box and share an opinion with us.

P.S. This series will come up every wednesday till it rounds up.



Welcome back to the Ugly Truth.

I promised myself a break after “date days” and i indeed took it.

i have started work on another series but that should start next week.

Today i have a friend and highly intellectual writer gracing my blog.

Pardon me for the depth of the Post. i am sure you will figure it out 😀

Its @MegaPar. Enjoy

She hugged him tightly.

Maybe if she held tight enough she could generate enough heat to reach down into the depth of his soul. Some warmth.


Why did he have to do this?

She had seen him before. Strutting around the camp with his young daughter. Laughing. They had walked over to the meadow and he had picked out daises and made a garland for her hair. He had tickled her and she had laughed. A laugh that it seemed only children could have. An innocent laugh. One not yet aware of the perils of the world. The hate. The unfounded fear that haunts one as soon as they reach puberty.

The girl had spoken in German but she knew enough to catch her say “I love you, Father. He had then kissed her on her forehead and called her his angel”.

They seemed so happy. They seemed like people. He seemed like he had a heart.

Maybe if she held him tight enough he could remember how to use it.

She fell to the floor. Blood pouring out off her nose.

“Choose!” He shouted.

“I can’t” she cried in-between bubbles of blood from her now broken nose. She didn’t even notice.
He held her life behind her. Her reason. Her definition. Her babies.

Born almost a minute apart. The delivery was almost painless. They were her angels. They had not complained when they had to wear jewish stars to school. Not caused any trouble when she could find no food in the harsh French winter as they tried to escape the tyranny that had descended on their home.

“Choose one of them” He screamed again, spittle spraying against her face.

It reminded her of the sea breeze. Back when life made sense. Back when people were people.

“I can’t! “ She screamed.

“Just kill me please but spare my children.”

“You can’t make me choose”

Her angels. Even now they comforted her. Told her not to worry. Told her it would be alright. Said they would wait for her with Michael in heaven.

He reached for his holster. Pulled out an instrument made solely for the distribution of death. He held it to her temple.

It was cool. Cold. Solid. There. More real than anything you could ever imagine.

She laughed. Right before you die you can feel everything. Your senses go into overdrive as they try to collect as much data before they are forever laid-off. Put to stable. Like old race horses turned into glue.

Is this the way it was going to end? On a dusty road? In front of her children?

Her last thought before her brains hit the pavement were,

“He has a nice bulge though”

Have you ever had a perception about someone or something prove to be false when you meet and have relations with them?

Have you had to sacrifice yourself for things/people so dear to you?

What did you make of this piece?

I really need you to share your thoughts using the comment box.


The Finale!!!!

@bule_jr: WOW! WOW!! WOW!! , What a week. I’m really speechless as to how what started as a conversation with a close friend about ‘The Perfect Date’ became a full series about the said topic.

All I Can say is I’m deeply grateful to everyone for Reading, Retweeting, Commenting and for your general support. It won’t have been possible without you.

A special S/O to all writers on the series, @miafarradaily, @capoeirapanda, @thetoolsman, @Ms_Dania, @KevinWithAnL, @CeceNoStockings, @FreshPrinzVick, @Aeda_, @ukabah, @O_toby and @JibolaL. You guys were simply awesome and made date days a massive success. We would definitely be doing this again. 😀

Also a deep appreciation to @iam_dq, @Adm3on, @ibetapassmynebo and @OlaToxic for their interviews. You guys were awesome and genuinely made my work easier. God bless.

Anyway #thatisall for now.

We have seen what goes on in our minds before a date, how a ‘perfect’ date should go and the totally ridiculous awkward dates.

We delved into what were necessities for us about dates and what goes on in our minds after the date.

We even added a missing file section to discuss things that were not thoroughly handled on the series.

We hope we have helped you out in at least one area.

At the beginning, the ‘Date Days’ series was started so as to really look into the world of dating in the 21st century and seeing what it really entailed.

We will be foolish to not acknowledge that there is no definite structure about dating and everybody just sort of goes with the flow of the moment and anything kinda goes.

The series attempted to just put the bits and pieces of a broken institution together and tried to make meaning of it and get both sexes to discuss and try and reach reasonable conclusions. We achieved THIS!!.

The idea was that we wanted people to learn something tangible about dating that could be applied in everyday relationships but yet in an informal setting where everyone could be REAL.

I know that not all things that have been said in this series will work for everybody but at least one thing will.

Definitely, after following the series since day 1, we expect that no one should leave here without a new trick/scope to woo that guy or girl on your next date. (Please give me my royalty when this happens)

DISCLAIMER @bule_jr will not be held responsible and accountable for any dates that goes right and leads to a baby boom or any date that goes awfully wrong and leads to a loss of your soul mate. 😛.

I really do hope to do this soon again.

Congratulations to @flygurl_aidee who won the gift for correctly answering the question earlier today. 😀


On to the final discussion for the series.

It’s simple, in one sentence, what have you learned from date days?

Also, what about the series did you NOT like and what will you like to see when next a series comes up.

Your sentence can be long though(its the last day, we’ll allow this) but PLEASE share with us what this series has taught you.

Till I come your way again, I remain the love doctor.



Do not forget that decades starts on tomorrow.. i Strongly recommend this to you.

Tomorrow on Afrosays. 10am

Tomorrow on Afrosays. 10am

The Missing Files


Ok so we’ve run through it all in the last few days. So far, we’ve seen: The Perfect Date, Worst Dates (even I have a tale or two or three or whatever about those), Preferences, Afterthoughts and so forth.

Through it all, I’ve silently watched, sometimes even amused.

While it would seem we’ve got everything covered with the first date, I still feel like there were a few things missing. I mean, yes you can wing it from there forward, after all you are an adult. However, the second date IS as important as the first. Just as the time in between the first and second date also matters.

It would be good look to take her to a French restaurant (like our Boss, Fresh Prinz), however, it is not a sharp move to ‘show yourself’ when you’re a proper street urchin like myself. I mean, I am not advocating being a cheapskate here. But I am of the belief that there are more creative ways to get to know her without having to stretch your budget thin.

 ◦ XO Wines: There is a winery at 54, Raymond Njoku in Ikoyi run by a Lebanese guy, Roger Chedid. Roger is one of the nicest and open people I know. You can literally walk into the winery, introduce yourself. “So what is your consign?” Take her to the winery (IF she’s the type to be interested in History and of course good wine. Of course, you can go a couple of times before, to get yourself acquainted with everyone in-house.

◦ A quiet picnic at Muri Okunola Park: You have most likely passed it by a million times without realizing that it is there. All you need is a basket packed with the things you’d like to eat. A small boombox, or iPod speakers that you can play soft music from, while you talk. What this affords you is the opportunity to be able to just TALK in a place that seems to be a bubble in the concrete jungle that is Lagos. 

◦ Beach things: Yesssss I said it. But see, this is with a twist. I’ve learnt that you can avoid the noise and straight up raucousness that comes with going to the beach. Just pack a blanket and your basket of goodies and you’re good to go. When you hit the shoreline, and walk due east till you’re way past all the music and noise and all you can hear is the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. Insane shit, I tell ya. Ive tried it before.

◦ Throw-it-down: This one might be a bit dicey. For a couple of reasons. First of which is this: If you have a reputation (that is largely untrue) like mine, 😐 when you suggest a throw-down a few things buzz around in her head:​‪
• 1. “Ohhh, sneaky bugger, he’s trying to lay that pipe on me”
2. He doesn’t think me attractive enough to be seen in public. Hence, you’re advised to save this for the second date.
• The second reason this might be dicey is because, well not everyone can be Chef Fregz. So if cooking isn’t your thing, STEER CLEAR. That said, don’t try that microwaving‬ paroles oh. ‬
That said, if you do opt for throwing-it-down, keep it simple. A meal of Spaghetti and meatballs done right served with red wine; will go a longer way than if your Chef Fregz Pasta Bella Bella goes all wrong.

Then finally, there’s the sex.
YES, I seem to be the guy that it usually falls to, to talk about these things :(. Oh well. First off, this is not a P. You need to continually remind yourself of that. It is very important, because the rules in this case are totally different. The modalities may vary from meeting a guy/girl that is open to having sex on the first/second date to one who is in it for the end games (i.e. Marriage). YES, I’ve met such. That said, keep your mind and eyes open for the subtle clues (remember the rules are different), and do not move until the Green light says GO. 

The First Visit

@bule_jr: ok this wasn’t on the menu as well but I decided that it could fit the bill because many guys actually like to do this kind of paroles. Enjoy.

@O_Toby & @bule_jr

You have had that first date, it wasn’t bad but you know it could have been better.

You have sweet-talked your way into seeing her yet again as you will like to make amends but this time instead of going out, you offer a chilled day at home and ‘surprisingly’, she agrees.

The first visit is your second chance to make a first impression if you already haven’t or win her over for the second time but this time ‘Permanently’ ! I always put more effort into visit like this particular one.


Because she is coming into your abode and she will make all her conclusions about you from the scent of your flat to your personal hygiene.

She is going to want to fill in any gaps that she couldn’t on that first date.

I am not saying you should completely go out of character but a certain part of your *natural cool A-Game* MUST surface.

Women in our time certainly don’t like to be freaked out, so you must avoid things that ought to be romantic but a little bit too much.

What am I on about?

Decorating your bed with rose petals, candles lite all over, and a funny scent from those wall fresheners (the worst).

I mean your not trying to propose to her or make a baby. Keep it simple and real.

I always start my preparation with fresh sheets, what happens if she decides to sleep over and you have sheets from two fortnights ago? Surely she won’t return.

Next off, is making sure your wardrobe is in order, trust me they love to have a sneak peek at what your collection looks like and how tidy it is. The room in general has to look sane enough to get you a chance of scoring(if that’s your plan though).

While I advise you to focus on your room, don’t loose attention of other areas (esp the bathroom, kitchen and sitting area)

Now, she rings the bell. This is your home, so you can’t be dressed like your about stepping to a club or a dinner. I usually go for casual jeans or three-quarters and a t-shirt.

You welcome her, show her round and take her to the living room. (NOT THE BEDROOM).

The usual courtesy should follow, do you want something to drink?, have you eaten? Etc. The answer is almost always NO, but be prepared!

Its your place and she’s new to it. So making her feel comfortable is your role. Engage her in a conversation or watch something funny.

Its always easier when you don’t think of scoring!

Time passes and her tummy rumbles, you might have made food b4 her arrival, but where’s the fun in that? Cooking together brings you closer,even if you are absolutely crappy at it. You cut the onions while she blends, she teases, you laugh…… (Get our picture now?)

At this point you both are comfortable, share a glass of wine, laugh some more and the night might just begin.


This is a more familiar kind of parole for naija people abi? Albeit for completely different reasons. You see as I didn’t call it ‘date’ abi? Yes na PAROLES.

I know for a fact that if the other person can feel very comfortable with you alone, it brings a lot of dimensions into the whole thing.

As long as you don’t go overboard with this, trust me you CANNOT go wrong.

So guys and girls, how do you plan for the first visit ey?

What goes through your minds before a first visit?

Assume that you are both the visiter and the visitee on this one.

Use the comment box and share your stories.

P.S There will be a mystery guest blogger at 1.30pm today.

Anyone that can guess correctly who that person is and tweets #datedaysfreebie at me will get something from me. 😀


it starts tomorrow at 10am

it starts tomorrow at 10am

Girls’ Talk

@bule_jr: Well, the success of date days always meant many surprises and non-scripted things will happen.
My friend gave me a vivid description of how girls act after a first date which is a continuation of the post this morning. I decided to share with you all too.


I look down at my phone and hiss as I see who is calling; can’t this dude just take a hint and leave me the hell alone? I’ve been ignoring his calls all morning and he keeps calling me. I push the phone to one corner of my bed and turn back to my friends sitting in different positions on the carpet in my room.

Funke: you’ve been ignoring this call all morning, who is it? A new stalker?

Ada: I bet it’s a guy you’ve given green light and now you’re dodging, you better answer your phone.

I think for a minute before I say anything because even though these are my best friends, we had never really supported blind dates and they would so laugh at me when they find out how the date went. But I’m dying to tell someone and let out all the anger inside me so I start my story.

I tell them how a guy in my office hooked me up with his friend and how we hadn’t even been chatting that much on bbm because we were so busy with work. So he asked if I wanted to meet up and talk one on one so we can get to know each other.

Funke: na wa for you oh and you couldn’t even tell us.

Ada: wait jor, let her finish the story

I can’t believe he actually kept me waiting that long; 2 hours….2 freaking hours! Who does that? At first waiting was cool because I saw an old secondary school mate at the mall waiting to see a movie, so we started catching up but then when she went in for her movie I looked at my watch and realized more than an hour had gone by. Plus I’m starving, where the hell is this dude?

Me: Babes I will never forget the dark cloud that passed over me when I finally saw him in person, the dude said he was average height, average my ass, my friend you are short! SHORT!

Ada: Forget the height, was he cute?

Me: Yeah he was definitely cute, nice eyes, nice hair and a very charming smile.

Funke: why do I sense a “but” coming?

Me: Probably because he dint even have the nerve to apologize for being late. This dude actually looked at me smiled and said you have very sexy legs. What happened to “you look very nice” or “you look very pretty”?

Ada: *laughing* next time u won’t wear a short dress on a first date, since u started It by flaunting your legs, he completed it by telling u how sexy they are.

Me: After we ordered drinks, I started the conversation by asking him to tell me more about himself while looking at the food menu. If this dude was 5ft 4inches in physical height, his pride and ego definitely gave him 12 extra inches.

He talked about how he’s the only child and how his father is the something something of some governor of some state; he lived abroad for about 8 years and came home to work because his mother kept begging him to come back. He is still trying to adjust to the weather in Nigeria even though! He’s been back for almost 3years.

Babes I have no idea how the topic got to how his ex girlfriends stalk him and want him back at all cost? I must have dozed off at some point.

By now Funke and Ada were rolling with laughter while I’m trying not to get angry at them, if the story had been someone else’s experience, I would be laughing my ass off as well.

Funke: At least you got to eat free food right? I mean you guys were in Bella Roma and the food there is wonderful.

Me: I wish! After staring at the menu for a long time, I noticed that he wasn’t making any attempt to order anything. So I decided to fall my own hand and say, it’s getting late we should probably order before it gets late. He said “Oh I had a big lunch with some of my friends at southern sun so I’m good but you can order whatever you want”

At this point Ada was laughing so hard she had tears running down her face. Funke on the other hand had a shocked look on her face for about 2 seconds before she burst out laughing as well.

Me: I mean did he really expect me to order while he watches me eat and probably curses me in his mind? The dude is so wrapped up in tales about himself that he doesn’t even notice that I’m looking at my watch like every 2 minutes. I thought it was girls who talked too much?

Ada: Please tell me he at least dropped you at home in his nice car

Me: That was the plan at first but I refused oh. I thank God I carried vex money because if I had to listen to any more of his stories in the car on the way home, I’d have pulled my hair out in agony. The silly boy did not even refuse when I offered to take a cab to relieve him of the traffic on the way to my house.

Ada: So I’m guessing you are not planning to give him a second chance?

Me: Hell no!!! I never want to see him again, infact no more blind dates for me

Funke: Well look on the bright side, if you ever need to commit suicide, you can jump from his the height of his ego to his physical height.

We all burst out laughing as I threw a pillow at her head…..

Anyway this was just an extra piece to add to date days and is a vivid description of how girls react to bad dates.

Yes they chat with friends and Gossip a bit.

Ladies why is this so? Must every experience be delved into by your friends?

Guys beware oh, your matter will be heavily analyzed if you screw up and if you do good as well. Don’t be fooled.

Happy and sad to say that datedays will be ending tomorrow with 2(possibly 3 posts).

Glad to have had you all for the ride.

See you at 9am tomorrow.



Hello people.

We so far have discussed about the things that go on before dates, the perfect and not so perfect dates.

Hope you have learnt something. (If yes, you owe me money).

Today we have a brief recess and i just want to ask you one question.

What are the 5 things that are key for you on a date?

You know, the things you Really look forward to when going for one.

I got 4 friends of mine to answer this question just to give us all a head start and here is what they had to say.


A lot of things are important to look out for. But these 5 are key.

1. She must have a sense of humour.: I’m not looking for a comedian or anything. But a girl should be able to understand a joke.., a pun, sarcasms and intelligent banters. Even if she does all the receiving, so far she understands.

2. She should speak well. Good tenses and all. You know the drill.

3. Very hygenic. I’m a sucked for hygiene. She must be clean. Clean nails. Clean shoes. Clean teeth. Lol.
I hate underarm sweat patches. Its a major turn off.

4. confidence is a major turn on. A confident girl has my attention already. Confidence that doesn’t turn into pride. Her mannerisms. Her words. Her posture should reek of confidence.

5. This one is personal to me. I like people who don’t take themselves too seriously. Cos I don’t. If a girl has that ability, she has my attention already. A girl who can laugh at herself is a winner.


5 things that are a necessity for me on a date (both the guy and the date)

1) A (good looking) guy i like or atleast can tolerate ( i mean thats the only way i can eat my free food in peace :oI )

2) More often than not, i like doing fun activities with whoever im on a date with .. not just eating and watching movies;that gets boring.

3)this is linked to the guy …. he must be able to hold interesting and intelligent conversations; i really hate long awkward silences so he must be able to ensure that those don’t come up.

4) I wouldn’t get mad if he gets me a little gift :o) *whispers* tennis bracelet

5) last but not the least , he must smell nice.. i LOVE LOVE LOVE guys that smell nice.. he’ll probably wonder why im clinging on to him so much ; might even get a little frightened by me but a lovely masculine fragrance goes a looong way for me *swoons*


5 things I look forward to on a date…..

1) Appearance – his dressing, haircut, his perfume, tiny details like dirty or long nails, efo in between his teeth n most especially his SHOES…

2) Confidence: I am attracted to confident guys, once u can pull this off without looking or sounding cocky and arrogant. As well as being comfortable in your own skin without over-fronting for instance trying to phonerize and u mix up both BrE AmE with your shitta accent…….Disaster!

3) Communication – of course, ability to keep engaging me in interesting conversations. Without asking “so what’s up?” Severally! Also, on first dates I love to take a back seat and give him his first 15minutes of fame and observe a lot about him from what he will say (2 minutes is enough for me to do that tho but….).

4) Venue – I can judge a lot about him from the venue he picks. Because I lose my appetite when I am out, restaurants won’t be an ideal venue for a first date for me. But I will pardon if he chooses to eat tho…but it has to be classy! No KFC, TFC, SFC, Iya Ibadan etc…But, I would prefer he is creative on the venue…penthouse, Boatcruise, a lawn-tennis duel etc anything but Food!

5) Simplicity — Despite the fact I sound crazy most of the time, I am just a simple down to earth chick! Simplicity is the key. Keep it simple but not “Tacky”. That is spanning through the points above…simple dressing ( not puting on a necklace n rings like omatta men in onitsha main market), simple conversations (don’t try to sound like a professor yet still don’t sound like a dummy) etc. simple as wearing a smile…they actually relax your date!

FYI…if everything works out perfectly on the first date…I shall reward him with a KISS! I am not greedy even the Bible recommends it!


My Top 5 requirements on a dat would, in no particular order, be

1. Mutual Attraction
This is most important for me… (I know I said in no particular order, but yeah, whareva!) If there are no feelings at stake, and it def has to be on both sides, then it’s not a date, we’re just friends hanging out. Doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic though, but it must be relationship-building (which is originally supposed to be the whole point of dates).

2. It has to be Just Us.
That might seem to go without saying but in my opinion, a date is meant to be relationship-building, and I obviously mean a romantic relationship. Three is no longer a date, a double-date is just four friends who also happen to be two couples hanging out together. Two is the number.

3. Money
Yup! Owo, Kudi, Ego, Mullah mehn! If it isn’t costing someone something, it ain’t a date. If one of y’all goes to check the other out at home or the office, y’all jus hanging out.

4. Other people
So This will sound weird. But i Love a date to be in The midst of people and we can just disappear in the crowd and just enjoy each other’s company without the risk of us being tempted to let things get out of hand. 😀

5. Vex money
I’ve come to associate this with smart, and in some cases, even considerate women. A good woman would look out for her man, even if he’s got it all sorted out. Asking to pay for one thing or the other (Ask o! No be by force, ms Independent!) sends him (usually) very good vibes about you. Plus a correct guy would (politely) turn you down. And there’s nothing wrong with a dude accepting either, if he really needs the assist (abeg troway that stupid pride jarey), as long as he’s shown previously and consistently that on a good day, he can represent.

Interesting right.

Now tell us what your own important points are?

Don’t just agree with any of the people above, do share your own.

Remember Just 5 things that are important to you.

Share your own Preferences in the comment box.

Tomorrow, Normal lectures will resume on date days at 9am.

Till then