Date Days


@bule_jr: Hello people.

Welcome to ‘Date Days’. A series that is going to try and look at the perspective that both sexes have about dating and first dates.

Hope you learn something new and its worth your while.

Today we begin by looking into what girls go through in preparation for a ‘first date’. Enjoy.

@miafarradaily

If he’s going to like me, if this is going to work, it will work regardless of what I do and don’t do. If this is going to work, he’s got to like me for ME.

That’s what I tell myself as I stand in the shower, 3 hours before my first date with D.

That’s what the rational part of my brain says as I carefully shave my legs and my under-arms and scour myself with a homemade sugar and lemon scrub. That’s what I try and remember as I massage lightly scented oil into my wet, clean skin. That’s the refrain I mutter as I pat myself dry and stroke my now baby soft, super smooth body.

I had a wax yesterday, even though it’s a first date and so, technically, D shouldn’t get anywhere near my lady garden. But one should always be prepared, Mama always said. Although I don’t think she was quite talking about that. I got my eyebrows done too, and a manicure and a pedicure. My nails were now a pale pink, ladylike and pretty. I’d agonised over that- should I go for a sultry red or a bold purple? Or do I want to appear down-to-earth with nothing more than a subtle gloss? The Korean lady had said “Pink is nice, yes, for lady. Nice for lady”

Yes, yes, but will he think it’s nice? And if things spiral out of control, will he think my landing strip is nice? Or is he one of those men who like women to look as bare as eggs down there?

I pad out of the bathroom and stand naked in front my wardrobe.

Underwear.
It’s a first date, I remind myself again, so it shouldn’t matter…but still, I consider. Black lace is my first choice- a demi cup bra and boyshorts. Sexy but not slutty- what a fine line that is. But I hear my friend S’s voice in my head…”always wear your crappy underwear on a first date! That way, you won’t be tempted to shag him” and I bring out my trusty, slightly faded, Marks &Spencer set.

Unsure, I reach into my drawer for a third time, retrieving a white teddy. La Perla and rarely worn. It makes my waist look tiny and breasts look…not so tiny. It makes me feel like Wonder Woman. I lace myself into it and strike a pose in the mirror. I pout at myself a little, then nod. Yes, this one.

Clothes.
A play and then dinner, he’d said. Trousers were out- even though I’d just bought a new silk pair on sale from COS. Trousers were for a second date, or perhaps even a third. If there was a third…

Gosh, I hope this goes well…

I discard my maxi dresses as well, shoving the whole lot of them to one side. I don’t want him to think I’m hiding a belly.

I consider outfit after outfit. Some I try on, some I simply hold in front of myself before tossing on the floor. I soon have a Top 3 and I’m tempted to send pictures to my friends for their input. I hunt for my phone in my now horribly messy room to do just that. I find it in a shoebox. Damn. The battery’s dying. I plug it in and turn back to my mirror.

You’re on your own, kid.

Okay, remember the rules…If you go tight, you can’t go short too. If you show cleavage you can’t show leg. Emphasise your waist and flatter your ass.

Finally, eventually, I settle on a grey jersey dress. It has a scoop neck, nipped in waist and ends at midthigh. It is soft to the touch and flattering.

Shoes now.
Heels to make my legs look fabulous? Or flats? I bite my lip and consider…D isn’t that tall, I remind myself. I don’t want to tower over him….I compromise, and set out a pair of 3inch midi heels. After all, I tell myself, we might do some walking. Nothing worse than having to stop because your feet hurt. No one falls in love with a girl with achy feet.

I gasp a little, and freeze, when I realise I’ve broken the cardinal rule of a first date. I’ve thought of the L word. I’ve mentally run a marathon before I could even sit up without assistance and now I’ve doomed this first date to be the last. I wipe my mouth as if I could take the words back. I knock three times on my wooden dresser. I say “I’m sorry God! Don’t jinx it!”. I feel silly when I’m done, but better.

Makeup? Hair? I pull out my iPad and open the youtube app. There is a tutorial I bookmarked a week ago…”How to do Sexy Hair”…

An hour later, slightly frustrated and with aching arms, I survey my now perfectly coiffed hair in the mirror. It looks good.

A few swipes later and I’m watching another tutorial “How to do Sexy Makeup”. 30 mins and a great deal of stops and starts later, I have smoky eyes, nude lips and a rosy complexion. Nude lips are key, you see.
Because if we snog, I don’t want to leave colour on his lips. He’s not mine yet, I have no right to brand him.

Accessories now.

I slip on my watch and… Damn! I’m almost late! How the hell did 3 hours go by so quickly? I frantically opened my jewellery box, swearing when the contents fly everywhere. Where the hell are they? I know they’re here somewhere…Aha!….Gold earrings.

I put my debit card, my phone, my keys and my lipgloss into my bag. I pause, then put £50 in there too. Vex money…

My doorbell rings. He’s here! I squeal and slide on my shoes, grab my blazer and spritz on some perfume.

I take 3 deep breaths before I open the front door.

“Wow. You look amazing”

“Oh? Really? Thanks…I didn’t really have a lot of time to get dressed. I only got back from work half an hour ago….”
********************************

So Ladies, do you recognise any patterns here?

What do you do on your own dates that are not listed here that you will like to share with us?

But importantly, can you tell us why you do these things?

Guys, has your level of respect gone up for the ladies, seeing what they have to do to look good just for us?

Next time you are out on a date are you gonna compliment the girl a bit more to let her know that all her efforts are not in vain?

Please share your thoughts with us using the comments box.

See you same time tomorrow with the male response to this.

Cheers.

Day 1

Day 1

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70 responses to “Date Days

  1. Oh Mia! Mia!!! I feel like screaming. Why did you bait us with the preparation for the date and tell us nothing about the date itself?! I never stopped to think a girl could go through this much for a date. But yes, my appreciation for girls and the attention they pay to their appearance has gone up ten notches. Thumbs up!

    • Ooh, maybe I’ll do a Part 2 on my blog? Thank you…:) In the interests of full disclosure though, I personally don’t take more than 2 hours to get ready and that’s for a ball. But I know a girl that takes 4! SO I figured the average was somewhere in the middle?xx

  2. Na wa oh! The things girls do for “love”. I always find something to compliment when on a date, even if its “I like your breath”.

    But I don’t believe a girl should go through all this trouble to impress me. The fact that I asked you out on a date means I’ve seen something I liked. Something you definitely didn’t take “half an hour” to prepare. Something inside.

    That should be all.

  3. Woooow!!! Did a girl actually write this?,3HRS….damn!! U cld dress up a whole army in dat time….as in the workings of the female mind ehn!….I respect.

  4. *sighs* When last was I on a date?
    @Terdoh, commot dere. Appreciate “the” effort jor. If the package aint tantalising, for how long will the “inside” hold your attention?

  5. I was gonna say this is not a typical naija girl preparing for a date until I saw the vex money was in pounds.
    Naijaa girls would do short and tight with boobs running over, its insane. And we’re not even going to talk about the insane heels (even if the date is at a beach) and the make-up….
    Well, girls do put a lot of preparation in place before a date but for me, going as far as shaving my legs, it better be someone I plan to set P with before the end of the day. Can’t be wasting veet….

  6. This is serious
    Interesting stuff 🙂
    Well…
    First Dates, I’ve never been.
    All my loves, we started out as friends, and somehow progressed from there…so dates have never needed this much work!

  7. I pride myself in my ability to shower,get dressed,put my hair in order and put make up on in like 30 minutes!!!Yay me!However,this doesn’t include choosing an outfit; that one can take me like 3 days! Lovely post!Looking forward to the rest

  8. @Nutella: I’ve learnt from experience that the packaging lasts as long as Christmas. By boxing day, its all off. The inside is really what draws me to the individual. From 17 failed relationships and two “successful” ones, I know what I’m saying.

    @Cece: I can always get more at Chocolate Royal. 😉

  9. Good job Mia.
    Here’s the thing though, we guys also go through a lot in preparation for a date.
    Ours is mental and financial strain..it takes about 3hrs to successfully budget depending on the ‘quality’ of the babe. So the lwast we can expect is that she’s worth it.
    I’ve been on lotsa ‘outings’ from bukas–>Eateries–>Restaurants and there’s a constant..if she’s worth it, its fun!
    Ladies, that ‘vex money’ is very important o! And emm..u can like to pay for your cab!
    Thumbs up Baba blue!

  10. Pretty awesome stuff from Mia. Really vivid. I can actually understand how much of the effort a girl puts in her preparation for that first date to have a perfect impression.

    The truth is I’m a sucker for flattery. Like, I flatter every chance I get and this has nothing to do with wanting to make a girl get all hot and bothered about anything. I know girls pay a lot of attention to detail so they deserve more than a cursory “I like your breath” lol.. I totally respect all that effort to look good on a first date…First impressions they say……..

  11. Hmmm, Mia. 3 hrs! What?! Are u goin for a wedding with Atiku’s son? I haven’t been on a proper date in aeons but I most definitely won’t spend more than 45mins getting ready.
    I don’t use make-up, but the prep time will be for choosing my under-things 😉 -you never can tell- and dousing myself wit my most exotic perfumes.
    I expect a first date to be as friends chilling out, laidback and spontaneous. Yes, spontaneous.
    I don’t ever forget to hold vex-money. Ever! Dude may be good looking but be boring AF. If he’s a perv, it’s ok (I like pervs 🙂 )

  12. I do know about girls preparing that long, having just sisters and they do that for most outings talkless of dates. Many people though haven’t been on proper dates more like hook ups, but I respect that @ least you didn’t deceive yourself like many who say its for themselves and not the guys. Like really?!!!

  13. VEX MONEY!!!! Hahahahaahaha!!!!!!
    Very detailed piece!!
    The pain! Styling your hair by yourself is NOT an easy task!

  14. Lol…funny post.

    Real-talk though, I fink it all boils down to bringing your A-game.

    Always bring your A-game. Never let your partner catch U slipping.

    Although It’s all relative,Modesty and having a minimum standard about how u look helps a lot.

    Then be observant on your first date, u can learn more from looking at a person than talking to them : My non-verbal theory.

    For instance, if @miafarradaily was coming on a date with me after all this prep, I would notice every single effort is put in and compliment her on each and every single one: Her Outfit, Her Smell, Supple Skin, Nails, legs…the whole nine. The aim is to let her know U noticed,U dig those things and appreciate the effort.

    U pay attention to details.

    And women hate it wen we don’t!!!!

    But on the flip side I always throw in a silly comment and make jokes about something I don’t like….just to balance it out and not come across as a yes-man.

    Nice one @bule-jr.

    And Yes!!!! Ladies play pay for ur cab. Don’t come across as hungry!!!!

    F.

  15. hahaha. Mia never fails to tickle me with her memoirs.
    it was nice reading.
    oh,er,my opinion? er….I,er, am too…well, I have never been on a date. yet. but I would feel infinitely flattered if she showed up looking like a beauty queen. talk about a human trophy.

  16. hahaha. Mia never ever fails to tickle me with her memoirs.
    it was nice reading.
    oh,er,my opinion? er….I,er, am too…well, I have never been on a date. yet. but I would feel infinitely flattered if she showed up looking like a beauty queen. talk about a human trophy. I do flatter a lot tho. a bit too much. even girls I hardly know. it never hurts to make a girl feel appreciated. I usually concentrate on the smallest things. the shape of her lips, shape of her eyes…her waist. I never ever let out the fact that I am stunned by make-up because I am usually not.n? er….I,er, am too…well, I have never been on a date. yet. but I would feel infinitely flattered if she showed up looking like a beauty queen. talk about a human trophy. I do flatter a lot tho. a bit too much. even girls I hardly know. it never hurts to make a girl feel appreciated. I usually concentrate on the smallest things. the shape of her lips, shape of her eyes…her waist. I never ever let out the fact that I am stunned by make-up because I am usually not.

  17. This was really good…quite enlightenin…but I hav to ask…do the same rituals displayed in this post apply to all categories of ladies….I mean..some would say that pretty girls try less while others put in more effort in their preparation. Good read though..keep it up..

  18. Hahaha 3 hours? That’s a lot! But it was so nice to read about the nervousness that we all have to experience, at least I don’t feel weird when I try to pay too much attention to every detail before heading out on a date.

    This should be fun, I’m definitely hooked. Will be coming around 🙂

  19. Ha-fuckin’-ha!
    Fuck all this preparation bullshit yo. At the end of the day all a nigga really wanna know is are you gonna bang doe?
    Fuck yo shoes, fuck yo hair, fuck yo clothes n the shit ya wear. bitch just take yo pill and bring some lube. Talkin’ about some fancy ass shit. Prolly why all y’all are still single. Bitch GTFOH! Let a real nigga give y’all some real advice:

    1. Underwear – None, go commando.
    2. Clothes – Ashewo spring collection. Heavy on the tits and ass
    3. Shoes – Who gives fuck? I aint sticking my dick in yo shoes!
    4. Make up – Red lipstick. dont want no pink shit on my dick. the rest is BS
    5. Accessories – WTF? Da only ‘access’ a nigga need is to ya pussy n ass.
    6. Vex Money – yeah, ya best be bringing yo own cab fare. bitch i aint driving yo slutty ass home. A nigga like ta sleep after hitting dat pussay.

    Riley Out.

    • Riley,
      To the bar right now!
      I am buying Vodka and Cranberry Juice
      I am not asking nicely, I am ordering you to…….

      The first thing is, you speak the truth…….
      The second thing is, Mia just wasn’t thinking of going on a date with a ‘nigga’ though…..

      *Raises glass* and says Cheers!

  20. Riley…….I pity ur gay partners…C’MON they spend 3days shopping prepn thr perfect pout n perfect lipgloss to use
    But all u gon do is tear their ass up….

    Chai…..

  21. *Hastily scribbles on a paper napkin*

    “……..Mia, is articulate and puts her thoughts across brilliantly!”

    *Tips waiter handsomely and walks out of the bar with a heavily inebriated Riley*

    : )

  22. Ha! Nicely written! Very articulate!

    I’ve never been on a proper date tho…but I most def wont dress up for 3 hours!

    Yes! Vex Money is Key and paying your cab fare makes you look better…

    Well done Mr. Bule.. (y) i’m looking foward to the other posts…

    PS: I wonder why Riley is alway so bitter.

  23. Really nice post!totally agree that your getting redi shud take dt long if u were just deciding on wot to wear,bt bookmarking ur hair style and make up tips is rili vain but smart wud kip dt in mind for my next first date. I fnk keeping it simple on dt first day is key,u dont wanna look like u spent forever preparing. Guys: Ts called Vex money not cab fare which is hardly ever used!

  24. Mia?

    Thank you!

    You did bring a sweet angle to this, to be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect but I’d give it to a writer who knows how to make art even from the mundane.

    Thank you.

    @Baba blue,
    Leggo!

  25. Nice one!

    I know naija ladies who spend that same amount of time getting dressed for 3rd,4th and 5th dates.
    If i have to go anywhere important, i usually take a while to dress up(this could be anywhere from 1 hour to a day,dress hunt inclusive) but,if its for a date, i probably would spend under an hour. I like guys and all but dressing up can be tiring.

    As for vex money….Lol!Its a necessary evil.

  26. I like Mia’s writing style. And Femi just knows where to get good guest writers. As for the 3hrs, Wow! My level of respect has risen for those who care that much to look good for the guys. Must be the minority though. Nice write-up. I look forward to the remaining.

  27. Obsessing about first dates.. One thing every1 does.. Even if its just a coke and burger date.. Not necessarily a painstaking 3hours but the brain does its own overtime work..even if you don’t ask it to.. (‘Least mine does)
    I know pple that even rehearse their convos and stuff..
    Us girls like to look good..so on a serious date?ofcos we pay attention to the littlest details..even if it ends up going south..we leav our ‘picture’ etched in his memory..

  28. I’ve carried a big last here..

    Obsessing about first dates.. One thing every1 does.. Even if its just a coke and burger date.. Not necessarily a painstaking 3hours but the brain does its own overtime work..even if you don’t ask it to.. (‘Least mine does)
    I know pple that even rehearse their convos and stuff..
    Us girls like to look good..so on a serious date?ofcos we pay attention to the littlest details..even if it ends up going south..we leav our ‘picture’ etched in his memory..

  29. Outstanding post, I conceive website owners should acquire a lot from this website its rattling user friendly . “A happy childhood has spoiled many a promising life.” by Robertson Davies.

  30. @no1chick: LOL!!! Waisting veet kwa, I feel u jare…hahaha…@mia farrady: I love this piece…serzly do, esp d part about VEX money #youknowthis…Personally I dnt take too much time, except he’s…errr…errrm…I digress, I think babes out 2 reserch on what looks good on dem 4 d date…d guy myt say eez ur inside dat matters, but u have 2 b beautiful on the outside too…after all, d guy isn’t gonna b fantasizing about ur beautiful heart…However, dis doesn’t mean u should come off as desperate or cheap. After all, it is d 1st date. Try not 2 ASS-U-ME and start picking wedding china b4 he even asks u on a 2nd date…dey can sense diz things u knw?

  31. *La’ Scorpion mode activated* AH!!!! 3 hours…lori first date…nitori Olorun Mia!!!! Ahn ahn…kilonse gbogbo yin na…e gbe nu yin sowun jo…ogbeni Riley ori e wan be o jare

    *Nocturnal mode activated* Altho I’ve neva been on a DATE, I can understand d initial nervousness and anticipation dat would come with d preparation before d date. And while as an individual I notice and compliment the littlest things even when we’re just hanging out, I do believe 3 hours is a bit vain; unless you’re going for a major event.

    Great stuff Mia, that you have a gift is blatant. And TLD…if this is a taste of things to come, then I must say you’ve done a great job…well done.

  32. I agree with Jennyphar. I balked at the 3 hours until I gave it second thought. Deciding on an outfit can take a week, and even then, you can wake up that morning and not be in the mood for the chosen outift. Smh!

  33. Wow, but I’ve carried last…
    Very entertaining piece, love d way its simple n descriptive. *thumbs up to Mia*

    @ d comments, lmao! Almost got up 2 lock my door while reading Riley’s comment. Y so bitter? Lol

    But yeah 3hrs…if I’m goin to be in the papers…lol

    Now hurrying over to today’s post.

  34. ‘I didn’t really have a lot of time to get dressed. I only got back from work half an hour ago….” lol thats my favourite part of the whole post. Great style, great delivery!

  35. I think this description of a first date caters to certain pple. First dates should be seen as a platform to determine what will develop btw the individual. Imagine if as a naija chic, you live in Egbeda and work on the Island – and your first date is on a tuesday evening somewhere around there. All this prep wont work. At the end of your harrased day, even MAC will not totally cover up the bags under your eyes. The most you can do is dress nice to the office and look presentable for the evening out.
    It’s time ladies realise that what catches a man’s attention goes beyond the 3 hr preparation. Why dont you make an impression by having a stimulating conversation (talk about everything under the sun, Entettainment, politics, football), bring along your money too,be humorous,lively, and all.
    It’s good to make an impression but what will make a lasting one is what spills out of us: mannerisms, speech, intelligence, dignity and all.

  36. I’m a “go out for drinks” kinda girl, and by drinks, I mean beer. So, no dressing up is necessary. Especially not for 4 hours. Although, if dressing up is required…sure.
    Very interesting piece.. well written.

  37. This has been quite an interesting read. Goes to people like me who are very non-challant bout our appearance. @mia,I love your writing style…pls put a link to ur blog. @bule, well done! Found out about ur blog some days back nd m lovin it!

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