@bule_jr: we have seen what both sexes think about before going on a first date.
Today we are going to look at what makes a ‘perfect first date’ from a guy’s point of view. Enjoy.
So you finally got her to say yes to going on a date with you but the realization does not hit you till the night before. This is the girl of your dreams, the one you’ve been waiting for and you finally get a shot, it’s time to pull out all the stops to make sure she has the best(est) first date ever. Only problem is, you have no idea how to go about that.
Well if you think I’m here to teach you how to do that, guess again. If you take a second to think about that statement ‘the perfect first date’ you’ll understand just how subjective it is. Surely you won’t expect a model who is almost always on a diet and a food enthusiast who loves experimenting to share the same preferences when it comes to a first date meal?
Having said that, what I’ll be sharing with you is my idea of a perfect first date but before I get into that, I’d like to clearly spell out my thoughts on the objectives of a first date.
1. Killer first impression: Yes you have all the resources at your disposal. Yes, she’s actually a princess but that doesn’t mean you’ll take her to the moon on the first date. The idea here is to have a killer first impression but one that can be topped. Remember there’s still the possibility of a second, third and subsequent dates. So even though you’re a French trained chef, don’t offer to cook for her on the first date. Keep it simple but not stupid.
2. Talk. Talk. Talk: Yes you might have known her all your life but once you use the word ‘date’ with her name in a sentence, everything changes. Also, you might have been talking through phones for a while but being that close to her physically for the first time, she needs to know she can be comfortable enough to talk to you in person as much as she can over a computer or a phone.
3. X (where X = invitation into her apartment, a kiss, and maybe, SCORE): X is a bonus. You shouldn’t expect it or demand it. As a matter of fact, except things just spiral out of control, try to make sure you avoid this happening on a first date.
Ok, I needed to put that out there so you’ll understand this piece better.
For me, this period begins a few days before the actual date. Actually, from the moment I ask her out on the date, I factor in this period. If she’s someone I’ve known for a while and I know the kinds of things she’s into, I can always spring the date up on her – ‘can we do tomorrow?’ But if she’s someone I hardly know anything about, I might want to give myself a few days to try to dig up some info. What does she like in terms of food, activities blah blah blah.
The venue is key. Remember my objectives??? I want to keep it simple but not stupid so I’m looking for a simple restaurant, bistro or café that serves the kind of stuff she likes to eat. (I’m not about to take her to a Mexican restaurant on a first date except I’m very sure we’re both into that). Now, that’s just one option. Some may wonder, why not the clichéd movie date? Well, if I’m doing the movie date then we have to start off with maybe a short meet up at a café for some sweets – confectionaries, ice-cream e.t.c… The idea here is to get a chance to talk to her. If you just meet up right before a movie and part ways after, it’s almost very certain there’ll be little or no talking (except you want to yell out her ears during your movie).
So, I’ve chosen a small restaurant, nice ambiance with a decent menu. If it’s not a place I’ve been to before, I always try to go there before hand (don’t just take suggestions from friends). I try to get to know the menu and even the waiters. A healthy tip will get one of them to even remember your name. Remember, this is the girl of your dreams we’re talking about. The date is finally planned out. I pick her up, we go to dinner and then drop her off – simple.
I’m casually dressed but looking smart still. If we’re meeting up after work, I lose the tie but keep my jacket on. If it’s not a workday, then I can play a little bit more with my outfit. No matter how I dress, one thing is key: Accessories!!!. Women never miss details. Unique cufflinks, that Rolex I only wear on special occasions, belt buckle, shoelaces, socks, perfume and wallet. Yup, if you have one of those sport wallets or a leather one that’s falling apart, you might want to consider changing it before your date.
I pick her up in my freshly cleaned car and on the ride to the restaurant, I engage her in as much conversation as possible. I’m no clown but a little humour here and there won’t be bad, just to lighten the mood. We get to the venue and I hold open the door to the building for her (Note: not the car, don’t choke her with chivalry). We walk in and the waiter friend I tipped the other day spots us:
“Good evening Mr. Adetula”
“Oh how are you Joseph, can you please find us a table?”
Now you’re getting me? We sit and she’s presented with the menu. I allow her look it over for a while before I suggest ordering for her. Of course I don’t look at the menu while I dish it out to Joseph, I’m a regular here…
What follows is the most important part of a first date for me. The conversations before, during and after the meal arrive. That’s where you score your points because she gets a chance to really look you over while you’re talking. She notices the watch as you gesticulate. She takes in more of your perfume… e.t.c. When our meal arrives, I make sure I explain what she’s about to eat while also talking about mine because at some point, I’ll let her try out what I’m having. Remember my objectives again.
After the meal comes desert. Ice cream almost never goes wrong. It’s always good to pick a venue where they have good meals as well as good deserts so you don’t have to move around much. Ice cream allows you to loosen us and even be a little playful (Ice-cream mustache anyone?)
We leave the restaurant and head home. At this point, I’ve achieved 98% of what I have set out to do. It would take some colossal fuckery to get things screwed up now. And as for the third objective, well, like I said, don’t expect it or demand it. It’s only the first date.
I pull the car to a stop outside her compound and I unlock the doors (First date should never end in the car). We both get out and I tell her how much fun I had while making sure I’m not lingering (I don’t want to come across as if I’m waiting for something). I say my goodbyes and go in for a casual hug. Nothing major. Be sure to smile after and then you can leave.
Is there anything like a perfect date in the first place? Yes? No?
To each his own I guess.
But let’s start talking today.
I have specific instructions for both sexes! Please Adhere to them as much as you can.
Guys: what is your own idea of a perfect first date?
Create your own scenario and describe to us what a perfect first date feels like to you.
Ladies: Do think about this and let us know what we get wrong. DO NOT share your own thoughts on what a perfect first date is…..just yet. You’ll do that tomorrow. Just criticise this and let us know where we guys can improve.
Do share an opinion with us using the comment box.
And see you tomorrow when @Ms_Dania responds to this.