Perfect First Date 2


@bule_jr: Yesterday, @thetoolsman showed us what an ‘ideal’ date looks and feels like from a guys perspective.
Today the girls are going to let us into their own idea of a ‘Perfect First Date’. Enjoy

@Ms_Dania

I have never been on a date.

Dang! What an opener! Too bad I can’t use it truthfully. When ‘Baba Blue’ asked me to write this, I quickly checked the dictionary to make sure I could start with that but according to dictionary.com (A date is a social appointment engagement or occasion arranged beforehand with another person. So all em movies, hook ups and ‘just hangin’ count as dates. Bleh), i have been on a date.

But then there are dates and there are dates.
Sigh.

Seeing as this isn’t my blog, I’ll try to minimize the ranting (I seem to be in the mood lately yeah?) so we’ll leave the dates versus dates issue for another day.

Ok so. The perfect first date. Let’s see.
We’ll run over a few things before i describe the date and I’ll still be carrying on heavy commentary in between.

It has to be with someone I like. As far as i’m concerned, a date is more about the company than the actual event. That’s the major reason I’ve spent many a valentine’s day alone. Again, rant for another day but like I said the person is very important. We’ll refer to him as the ‘dater’ and me, the ‘datee’.

For me, besides the physical qualities and all, the dater’s gotta have some mystery. We probably talk on the phone and all but I don’t want to have him totally figured before the first date. There’s just something totally hot about wondering what’s going on behind those eyes and that lazy smile.

Now let’s talk about location. This is extremely important. If you’re like me and have a reputation to protect (I swear I do!), then there are some places you wouldn’t be caught dead at with certain kinds of people. So if you haven’t met the guy then don’t agree on a venue till he picks you up. That way you can assess the ‘situation’ (his appearance and level of decorum) properly and know what restaurant fits. This may seem a little snobbish but believe me, it has saved me many a time from certain disaster. You do not want to walk into Orchid Bistro or La Saison on the arm of a sloppy scruffy looking dude. Trust me, you don’t.

If you’re meeting him up at the place then good luck, may the gods favor you. But settle on a place that’s not too high end and not to street either.

First impressions are very key. You agreed he’d pick you up at 5. Be ready at 4:55 but when he calls to say he’s downstairs, tell him you’ll be out in five minutes. You don’t want to appear eager. You don’t want to appear tardy either so make sure your five minutes is five minutes.

I walk confidently to the car (ignoring the butterflies in my stomach because i know he’s checking me out as i walk towards him) open it and get in. I smile and take him in. He looks like his voice; hot. Good. Plus his car’s also tidy. No half eaten Gala’s or empty plastic coke bottles in sight. Nice.

Note that I said get in, not climb in. I’ve actually seen chicks that climb into cars; not a pretty sight.

The theme of the car is Light; light music and light chit chat about the weather and our respective days. We’re still feeling each other out; getting comfortable.
We get to our destination, step out of the car and walk to the door. He opens it and holds it open for me to got through. At our table he holds out a chair for me and waits for me to sit before he sits.

Chi may be dead but at least his first cousin Courtesy is still alive, no? You won’t believe that I’ve actually been out with a guy who didn’t just let me open the door but actually went through while I held it open. First and last date. I agree with TheToolsman though, the dater doesn’t necessarily have to open the car door. It may seem planned and overly eager to please. But the entrance is a definite must.

We place our orders and wait while sipping our drinks and engaging in interesting conversation.

The order: I always like the dater to be involved in the ordering for two reasons. One, he can subtly steer us in the direction his pocket can handle so as to avoid any future embarrassing ‘run the card again’ moments. And two, there’s just something tasteful and classy about a man who knows his food. Plus it hot when he seems in charge; like he knows what he’s doing.

The conversation: This is the most important part of the evening. For me, versatility is key. Yes, you may be interested in me and want to have a relationship and yadi yadi but that should not be all you can talk about.

In fact, you shouldn’t talk about it at all!

Politics, general headlines, religion, fashion, arts, gadgets…general random stuff. We could get a bit personal (family background, education, etc) but not too personal. I do not want to know EVERYTHING about you. I also do not need the full details of your past, present and future love life or the fact that your mother has a dog fetish. Go figure.

Pace yourself, give me something to wonder about.

Listening is also very key. Both the dater and the datee need to listen to each other and not try to out talk the other.

Now don’t be afraid to admit when you don’t know something. If I make a comment about the unrest in Syria and you know nothing about it, it’s better to admit that you aren’t really following it than to make a comment like “I know right! Why won’t Gaddafi just step down?” You just lost major points.

The food arrives and we tuck in.

Eating: General table manners apply so I won’t bore you with them all, just this one: NEVER talk with food in your mouth. Like seriously, are you crazy?? Doesn’t mean you have to be silent throughout the meal. You should still have light conversation going on in between bites and chews.
As a personal rule, I won’t ask for dessert unless the dater offers. Like TheToolsman said, ice cream works.

We finish eating, he takes care of the bill and we exit the restaurant. The drive home is much quieter; not awkward but comfortable with smooth music playing on the stereo. We get to my house, he parks properly and walks me to my door. At the door he says something along these lines, ” I had a good time tonight. We should do this again.” Then he smiles mysteriously, like he wants to kiss me and he knows i want to be kissed.

“Goodnight.”

And then he turns and walks to his car.

Perfect.

The Goodnight: Again, like TheToolsman said, the goodnight should not be said in the car with the engine running like you can’t wait for her to get down so you can be on your way. Park, get down and walk her to her door.

Now I know opinions vary on the kiss thing but for me, don’t. Even if she wants it. It’ll give her something to think about/look forward to before your next date. Plus it just makes you look more cultured and less savage.

Speaking of next date, don’t fix an appointment or say you’ll call her later. Leave her wondering/ guessing what’ll happen next: If you’re going to call, when you’re going to call, whether you really liked her, whether you’ll kiss her this time…

Now this is what MY perfect first date would look like. I’m no expert (hell, I’m still single) and nothing here is set in stone so feel free, use the comment box; agree, disagree, create your own scenario…
****************************************************************

Well…..Well…. Well…

This is going to change many boys lives I presume.

Anyway today the instructions from yesterday are reversed.

Ladies: Do you agree with this?
Give us your own scenarios of what will make a perfect first date for you.

Guys: simples, How has this helped you?
Where do you think they are getting it wrong and you wana help them out a bit?

Let us know about a perfect date that you have been on before.

Share your ideas and speak your minds using the comment box.

Do share something. Your little words can be of great help to someone out there.

Cheers.

Day 4

Day 4

Advertisements

71 responses to “Perfect First Date 2

  1. Very decent date and for conversations u can only give as good as u get; some girls are too damn closed off n u may end up being a chatter box. On the other hand some girls don’t like gentlemen but gangstaz so this date won’t work.

  2. LOL, i like much. I think i’m a better man now. Well the 5 mins wait thing, i wish it were that easy. i ve spent many productive man-hours waiting that i never come early for any date. oh well!!
    On date venues, food orders, etc. I’ll rather leave it in the hands of the girl, for me its an avenue to assess some ‘unspoken’ things bout her. If she picks Orchid Bistro for example; is it a regular thing for her, does she just like it there or is it an avenue to ‘finally’ eat there..

    Ermm, nice 1 again.

  3. Nicee….very perfect date!… i’ve bin following since day1 and it seems dere is no hope of a perfect date for a guy dt doesn’t have a car

  4. *Ahem…lemme just say here that, the “mystery”…should not go on for long. If u keep her guessing for too long, u snooze, u loose and dats dat. @Ekwe: it doesn’t mean that we don’t get asked to go on a date with guys who dnt have cars too. Av gone out with a guy who sent a cab to come and get me, so that I was chauffeurd and I had a goodtime too. I have to agree with Dania, dat there is something absolutely hot about a guy who knows his food and can suggest something new…again a guy who’s well rounded almost alwaiz makes splendid convos…mystery? YES! But too much and I dust my jimmyChoos, au revoir! …beautiful writing Ada, we’v missd u o

  5. Lmao! I luv dis post but errrrm must d guy own a car 4 it to be a perfect first date?? If yes, then I don’t think I’ve had a perfect first date yet 😦

  6. I lyk! πŸ˜€ I just lurv d mystery ov a 1st date. Cultured men re hard to come by tho. I lyk a man who knows wat he wants, lyk he has d date figured out. I hate wen u pick me up nd den ask whr I wud lyk to go. And I totally agree wif Dania dt its beta 4 d man to order(mayb wif a little input frm me). I always find myslf ordering cheap food dt I may nt actually lyk just so we don’t end up above ur budget.
    Nice work Dania.. Now I feel lyk goin out on a date *sigh*

  7. Since this is her opinion of a perfect date….we’ll take it.

    But! Who wants perfect? Two, how many of us can pull perfect off?

    If u aim to do everything right with a girl…let’s just say ure failing.

    Be U!

    Be smart,Be modest,bring ur A-game, score ur points but don’t lose ur self while doing it.

    F.

  8. Thr shld be a post for ppl like us hu wld go on dates inside a keke napepsa..I mean, its only balanced if we hav dat.

  9. So the guy should have a car and settle the bill. Your own is to look pretty and be smiling like the Jokers retarded sister abi? Okay. I’m getting you… Nonsense!

    Why cant the girl be the one to drive?
    Or offer to share the bill?
    Or even come ove rto his place and he drives from there?

    No be 21st century be dis? Girl Power and all what not? Or na just Girl Powder una get and all na eye service? Nonsense!

    Later they will open their dirty mouth and be singing ‘Who run the world’ with that ashana in cheif Beyonce. Msssccheeeeeeew!

    • Buahahaha! I dey feel this guy, mehn! (disclaimer: this comment reply does not mean its author necessarily shares the views of the author of the original comment)

    • Lwkmd….. I shared ur views jor, if girls run the world, why can’t they be d ‘dater’? atleast “what a man can do a woman can do even better” so they say.

  10. very good stuff….although i wonder why the writer is so defensive about having a rep to protect…(dont worry we believe you πŸ˜‰

  11. Lovely post..although I must say this date sounds a little too ‘perfect’..but that’s just me.
    Oh and about the issue of “why should the guy drive her to the venue and also pick up the bill???”…because he is a MAN and this is a first date. If you don’t agree with that then fine, but any man that expects me to pick up the bill especially on a first date is definitely not getting a second one.

    • When your husband/Boyfriend gbenshes your pussy like it owes his money and cums first without waiting for you to reach orgasm, you will ask why and he should say “Because I am a MAN and this is sex” abi? Okay. I’m getting you…Nonsense!

  12. Ada…u kno I luv u right..ehen..just thot I should make it clear.
    I guess MissEm has cleared up d car issue cos fear don dey catch me. Abi na…
    On the food bit tho, what if you have an allergy to an ingredient in the food I didn’t know about n I ordered cos I wanted to seem “in-charge”…I haff enter one chance be dat o. Personally, I’d rather the babe ordered herself. If I can’t afford the place I won’t take you there. Shikena.

  13. What a perfect date but seriously is it a must for the ‘dater’ to have a car? I really don’t get it, this is the third ‘Date day’ I’ll be reading here and nobody talks about the ‘dater’ not having a car. I’ll like to ask the writer this one question : what if the ‘dater’ doesn’t have a car? What will happen? Remember, not all fingers are equal. Bliss

  14. Lol. Ppl dey vex for here oh. I just want to add one thing tho esp for d ladies, if u see somethg u dnt knw or understand, ASK!! A friend told me of dis girl he took to a restaurant, chinese I think, and when they brought d huge bowl of rice they were to serve themselves frm, she just dragged d whole bowl to her self, and proceeded to start eating. He now had to remind her that it waas for d both of them. Lool. D embarrassment was legendary. Aat d end of their meal, when they were served wit wet napkins, mayb she thot it was dessert or somthng? I dnt knw but she said she didn’t want spring rolls. Lmao. The guy had to tell her dat it wasn’t springroll but wet napkins for them to clean deir hands. Loool.
    Yup, u guessed it, that was d last date.
    Moral of d story, I dnt think u can go wrong by asking wen unsure. Sorry for d long post.

  15. I totally agree with PhaithA, why shud I pick up d bill on a 1st date huh? Why ask mi out on a date when u know ur pocket is empty?!

  16. Let me say this, all the comments about the car is widely off the mark. Yesterday when tula spoke he said the same thing about owning a car and no one flinched but a girl says it and we all go haywire.
    If you want to criticise do it well.
    Besides, this is just 1 person’s idea it didn’t have to acceptable by everyone.
    This was just a post and I have never seen a girl who would say she was happy with her man “biking” without having a bigger goal and no guy also wants to remain carless. So its just a fairytale.
    That’s why I asked us all to discuss and criticise constructively without taking things P.

    • e be like say Baba blue don dey vex small. Make una take you time. About three out of the four posts had cars in them, the one that didn’t mention a car was because they didn’t go past the door. All these car comments are coming because maybe, there are more non-car owners than car owners. *checks savings account balance*

  17. Much ado about a car! Jeez!

    Perfect date=perfect scenario, no?

    Well, if your idea of a perfect date involves you hopping from one okada to another in hopes of meeting up while the babe waits for you in her car, then by all means write yours and we’ll read, RT and comment.

    Technically, if a man asks a woman on a date, he’s expected to pay and vice versa unless they choose to do otherwise.

    Now to the story, it seemed to me that Dania was too intent on toeing Toolsman’s story line that she kinda lost the essence in hers.

    And on the issue of the guy taking her home, while this would be perfect in an ideal situation, living in Lagos has made this less than achievable for most dates.

    About conversations, to avoid embarrassments and awkward moments, it would be better if you both found out afore hand what your likes and interests are so you can drive the conversation to those topics. You wouldn’t wanna be on a date with a guy and he’s telling you about how Scholes is a mean player and you say: “is that the dude that featured in ‘Games Men Play’?” You get my drift….

    Fancy.

  18. Ok. Lemme say this Date series is dangerous to all the writers involved as they seem to be giving us ammunition to sweep them off their feet when we do come asking them for a date. As you were.

    Ghaddafi stepping down from Syria had me rolling. And girls I know like savage boys more than cultured boys. So the first kiss rule I do not agree with. Rather, if she looks awkward and expecting give a peck on the cheek instead. Buahahaha. (That actually happened for me at a door goodbye occasion and it was marvellous, non-committal and not cold either)

    And yes, you should agree on a venue when you meet each other, and not allow the Toolsman to sweep you off to his hunting ground like he said yesterday. πŸ˜€

    That being said, Dania I like you. Nice.

  19. What about those who still live with their parents, will the guy still escort them to the door? Isn’t that a matter of life and death? Is it worth it?

  20. *read comments* *Pause* *scroll up to read post again*

    Yup, I’m not seeing things. Never said the dude needed to have a car.

    There are plenty of ways to do ‘perfect’ without a car:

    Cab service. Like proper cabs. Can take you to pick her up, to the restaurant and back to her’s. This might even work better than driving sef cuz u can talk without being distracted and gaze into her eyes dreamily and all that looney tunes booshit.
    You can bike to ur house from there if you feel like.

    You could also send the cab to pick her up and bring to the restaurant.

    Or if the money is not too plenty, have her meet you there and then pick a cab and drop her at home. If the money will not reach you to do even this then don’t ask her(me) on a date. Shikena. Thanks and God bless.

    • Thanks Ms Dania for clearing things up, yup if you don’t have a cab den get a clean cab…moral of all this is just that be well prepared and sure about your pocket before you ask the babe on a date…..cheers

  21. Wonder why people post comments like they r retarded. If u don’t v a car; do u want to steal 1; no! Replace d word CAR with CAB …. Viola! If u can’t afford a cab; meet up at d restaurant/venue. As long as d girl knows ur mode of transport b4 u show up. Don’t insinuate u have a ride then arrive there on a camel. BTW; it’s d writer’s opinion. Go n write ur own ideal date n post in d comments section. Stoopid pple

  22. Looool!!!! Post was very on point!
    Thing I don’t get is why some people are SOOO angry. Sm1 posts a simple statement n it sets their teeth on edge. Calm down. Getting vulgar doesn’t make u sound very smart. Don’t see you going on any 1st dates with that attitude.

  23. i agree.

    1.i like to laugh a lot on a first date(it takes the edge off and the ‘date’ mentality) but the guy shouldn’t be too goofy.

    2.Feeling very comfortable is key so i don’t have to bring out my blackberry and tell my friends how awkward it is.

    3.Also guys shouldn’t listen so much that the girl becomes a talkative, its exhausting to bring up topic after topic (except the girl cant refrain from the love of hearing her voice)

    4. Please ask about the AC in the car, or else she’ll conserve her talk-energy for warmth. and music shouldn’t be so loud that she has to shout.

    All in all something will go wrong sha, all these details cant be in one date but most will score any guy good points.

  24. ppl r really vexing oooo… Is it today that you’d use a cab to take a lady to and from a date venue? hell! there r places where you would not want to take your car but cos the lady is worth the date, you’d use the next best available option – which almost always is a very clean, comfy cab… sheathe your swords peeps…whilst the ride might boost your profile, it does not determine how well your date goes! my apologies for the long comment!

  25. Well, last I heard, car wasn’t the only mode of transport in Nigeria. There are buses (people still enter abi?) and okadas (surest means of transport) and even your keke napep.
    So all of u that use these alternative means shouldn’t sweat. Just make sure your “datee” is someone that doesn’t mind.
    And you can walk me to my door… my mumsi is a lousy shot. She’ll probably just nick your knee or something. “Let’s do this again” πŸ™‚
    Nice post, Dania.

  26. Femi is right! Toolsman said car nobody said ish. Ada says car, everybody is flaring up!
    About the ordering food part. Different strokes for different folks. Some girls like a gangsta some a gentleman. Some like someone in control, some want to order their own food. I try my best possible to learn about a girls preferences from the phone convo, but I’ve gone on a lot of dates and that comes easy for me.
    Love is a game. I always prefer playing hot and cold, will he kiss me, will he not kind of thing. Even if she is the girl of your dreams, you don’t go telling her that on the first date! That would just make her uncomfortable! Keep her guessing. After the date, if you dropped her off, wait a couple or days to call. If you didn’t drop her, call her to find out if she got home safe, then wait a couple of days till you call again. I only try and kiss a girl if I’m trying to get lucky or I’m trying to be a jerk (some girls do like this. Again phone convo) if the girl is classy, and I want a long term relationship. I DO NOT go for the happy ending.You HAVE to keep her guessing (see also ada’s penultimate paragraph.)

  27. On point!!!
    My only comment is that sometimes it seems rehearsed and deliberate when u go all perfect gentleman on her. chivalry should be / seem effortless and natural for it to be believable . Yeah have good manners and be curteous but i think for example a guy standing up wen the lady stands or trying to open the door when its not convenient or awkward is just tacky!!!

  28. A guy that makes good conversation is very key. I once went on a first date with a guy who dnt tell me what it was about. He just said ‘meet me at so so so place’ nd it turned out dt it wz to see a movie I dnt lyk nd then he wZ so quiet…no conversation jst a few monosyllables here nd there. I almost died!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s