Hello people.

We so far have discussed about the things that go on before dates, the perfect and not so perfect dates.

Hope you have learnt something. (If yes, you owe me money).

Today we have a brief recess and i just want to ask you one question.

What are the 5 things that are key for you on a date?

You know, the things you Really look forward to when going for one.

I got 4 friends of mine to answer this question just to give us all a head start and here is what they had to say.


A lot of things are important to look out for. But these 5 are key.

1. She must have a sense of humour.: I’m not looking for a comedian or anything. But a girl should be able to understand a joke.., a pun, sarcasms and intelligent banters. Even if she does all the receiving, so far she understands.

2. She should speak well. Good tenses and all. You know the drill.

3. Very hygenic. I’m a sucked for hygiene. She must be clean. Clean nails. Clean shoes. Clean teeth. Lol.
I hate underarm sweat patches. Its a major turn off.

4. confidence is a major turn on. A confident girl has my attention already. Confidence that doesn’t turn into pride. Her mannerisms. Her words. Her posture should reek of confidence.

5. This one is personal to me. I like people who don’t take themselves too seriously. Cos I don’t. If a girl has that ability, she has my attention already. A girl who can laugh at herself is a winner.


5 things that are a necessity for me on a date (both the guy and the date)

1) A (good looking) guy i like or atleast can tolerate ( i mean thats the only way i can eat my free food in peace :oI )

2) More often than not, i like doing fun activities with whoever im on a date with .. not just eating and watching movies;that gets boring.

3)this is linked to the guy …. he must be able to hold interesting and intelligent conversations; i really hate long awkward silences so he must be able to ensure that those don’t come up.

4) I wouldn’t get mad if he gets me a little gift :o) *whispers* tennis bracelet

5) last but not the least , he must smell nice.. i LOVE LOVE LOVE guys that smell nice.. he’ll probably wonder why im clinging on to him so much ; might even get a little frightened by me but a lovely masculine fragrance goes a looong way for me *swoons*


5 things I look forward to on a date…..

1) Appearance – his dressing, haircut, his perfume, tiny details like dirty or long nails, efo in between his teeth n most especially his SHOES…

2) Confidence: I am attracted to confident guys, once u can pull this off without looking or sounding cocky and arrogant. As well as being comfortable in your own skin without over-fronting for instance trying to phonerize and u mix up both BrE AmE with your shitta accent…….Disaster!

3) Communication – of course, ability to keep engaging me in interesting conversations. Without asking “so what’s up?” Severally! Also, on first dates I love to take a back seat and give him his first 15minutes of fame and observe a lot about him from what he will say (2 minutes is enough for me to do that tho but….).

4) Venue – I can judge a lot about him from the venue he picks. Because I lose my appetite when I am out, restaurants won’t be an ideal venue for a first date for me. But I will pardon if he chooses to eat tho…but it has to be classy! No KFC, TFC, SFC, Iya Ibadan etc…But, I would prefer he is creative on the venue…penthouse, Boatcruise, a lawn-tennis duel etc anything but Food!

5) Simplicity — Despite the fact I sound crazy most of the time, I am just a simple down to earth chick! Simplicity is the key. Keep it simple but not “Tacky”. That is spanning through the points above…simple dressing ( not puting on a necklace n rings like omatta men in onitsha main market), simple conversations (don’t try to sound like a professor yet still don’t sound like a dummy) etc. simple as wearing a smile…they actually relax your date!

FYI…if everything works out perfectly on the first date…I shall reward him with a KISS! I am not greedy even the Bible recommends it!


My Top 5 requirements on a dat would, in no particular order, be

1. Mutual Attraction
This is most important for me… (I know I said in no particular order, but yeah, whareva!) If there are no feelings at stake, and it def has to be on both sides, then it’s not a date, we’re just friends hanging out. Doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic though, but it must be relationship-building (which is originally supposed to be the whole point of dates).

2. It has to be Just Us.
That might seem to go without saying but in my opinion, a date is meant to be relationship-building, and I obviously mean a romantic relationship. Three is no longer a date, a double-date is just four friends who also happen to be two couples hanging out together. Two is the number.

3. Money
Yup! Owo, Kudi, Ego, Mullah mehn! If it isn’t costing someone something, it ain’t a date. If one of y’all goes to check the other out at home or the office, y’all jus hanging out.

4. Other people
So This will sound weird. But i Love a date to be in The midst of people and we can just disappear in the crowd and just enjoy each other’s company without the risk of us being tempted to let things get out of hand. ๐Ÿ˜€

5. Vex money
I’ve come to associate this with smart, and in some cases, even considerate women. A good woman would look out for her man, even if he’s got it all sorted out. Asking to pay for one thing or the other (Ask o! No be by force, ms Independent!) sends him (usually) very good vibes about you. Plus a correct guy would (politely) turn you down. And there’s nothing wrong with a dude accepting either, if he really needs the assist (abeg troway that stupid pride jarey), as long as he’s shown previously and consistently that on a good day, he can represent.

Interesting right.

Now tell us what your own important points are?

Don’t just agree with any of the people above, do share your own.

Remember Just 5 things that are important to you.

Share your own Preferences in the comment box.

Tomorrow, Normal lectures will resume on date days at 9am.

Till then



34 responses to “Preferences

  1. Lemme first say that @ibetapassmyneighbour is not okay at all.
    For me, it’s
    Confidence: the way u call the waiter, the ease with which you hail a cab (no be evrybody get moto), the discreet way you pay the bill,
    Relaxed atmosphere: it’s a date so we are probably somewhere nice. Even if we’re eating nan and tandoori(which I love) we should both feel relaxed. Relaxed enough to pass the salt with a smile, or chuckle about the glutton at the next table
    Knowledge: he’s gotta know a bit of everything. I don’t need a human encyclopedia, just know
    Wit (very important)

  2. I’m impressed at Olatoxic’s #4.
    Good dress sense, diction and a sense of humour! I’m a sucker for these. I cannot stand a guy who doesn’t dress and speak well. Those are my greatest turn offs.
    Would have written more, but ^_^ errm.. If u want to set P ๐Ÿ˜‰ lemme know

  3. My First #DDs comment x_x

    5 things:
    1. Fun: I’m a fun lovning (sometimes crazy!) kinda guy and a chic that can either enjoy my quips or even put in some effort to crack as well has won my heart!
    2. Body Chemistry: there’s not way we’d hangout for hours and not touch AT ALL! My friends call me a cat (purr!) so I’m a sucker for body heat. You don’t have to be clingy but the occasional brush, a (actually some) hugs, or just to lean in when you feel cold is just 7th heaven to me! *sigh*
    3. Handling Akward moments: I talk A LOT! (As can be seen by the length of this comment) but trust me the ‘akward moment’ always comes thru. So if I ran outta gas, or say something outta line be an angel and help a brother out. *now singing I’m not perfect* ๐Ÿ˜€
    4. Don’t patronise: if you don’t like the venue I picked out, be kind enough to say so. You should have a good reason tho, if not you’re just being a spoil sport. And don’t be afraid/embarrassed to try new things out. Not all dates can be movies, ever been to an art gallery, a music bar, boat riding, watching soccer etc. If you’re not comfortable at first try it out at least, if you still don’t like it then we can leave.
    5. Akward goodbyes: this can ruin a wonderful outing. If the date goes well, and I’m dropping you off, chances are I would try to kiss you. If you don’t want just turn your cheek, that way the msg is ‘politely’ sent! Instead of the “ehn?! What do you think you’re doing? What do you take me for? Omo oshi, omo jat jati….”. I’ll probably just crash and die on the ride home and my blood’ll be on your hands!

    *phew* that was a mouthful.

  4. Hmmm
    -he’s gotta look good..not necesarily drop dead..but Presentable..not d one with distracting face features..and I don’t mean that in a good way
    -good convo .I like to chatter and talk abt random stuff..if u can’t talk to me on a first date,what’s to happen subsequently in the ‘relationship’ we r tryna build?? Not every 2 ppl have ‘gist’ oh!
    -Intellect : I can speak and chat a. Abt most every topic wit sm degree of maturity..I wouldn’t want sm1 I wud hav to xplain every thing to..or xplain the difference btw sarcasm and being serious..
    -HE HAS TO SMELL NICE (I always remember pple by their scents such that I can sense u from aways.. A guy that smells heavenly would be much easier to neck with!
    – Open Mindedness : guy thinks freely and is open to new things..I get to suggest too..not the domineering kind..My MissIndependent comes out once in a while..he should be able to HaNDLe..

  5. I totally agree with @adm3on’s last point…he MUST smell nice!
    I also like a guy who can make me laugh without trying too hard..!!
    Good diction is another big plus…If u dunno the appropriate places to use ur past tenses n ol then don’t even bother approaching me… ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Lol @ ‘efo between his teeth’. Nice one @ibetapassmynebo

    @olaToxic’s last point tho. Important. But most girls won’t offer to pay on the first date. But hey, its the intention that counts.


  7. 1) She doesn’t bore me with her vanity! (Key)
    2) Little flirting here and there. Dnt be such a prude.
    3) Intelligence. I like a girl who knows her shit. Bt try not to make me look like an idiot ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    4) Pls be polite. I’m a shy guy. Let’s not cause a scene on a date. I take God beg yu. I go just run leave you!!
    5) If yu dnt have sense of humor, borrow from a friend!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Nice one about the vex money, OlaToxic as for me,

    Recon is very important, first and foremost know who you are going out on a date with, so as to plan the correct date, before you put yourself in a situation you don’t like and he or she can’t handle, if it is a blind date ask about the person from the people setting you up so you have an idea about likes and dislikes of the other party, some like dinners, some like walks, some like the simple and some like the lavish. Just so you know what you are getting into, that being said:

    1) simplicity in appearance and moderation in most things and please note that, there is a fine balance between simplicity and being plain, put some effort into your appearance, don’t turn up looking like you are going for a deeper life service (No Offence) but do not show up looking like the high priestess of Zamunda neither with so many accesories that you end up looking & sounding like a portable morse code machine and make-up looking like a cross between tribal war paint and bobo the clown’s. Boys should not show up looking like Liberace’s Ghost neither and your perfume should not choke the poor girl neither, Not to mention, i’m very laid back and i respond well to that kind of vibe as well. So let’s always keep things simple, understated and moderate and clean!

    2) i’ve never been conventional so i turn up looking for that ‘quirk’ factor, i really can’t put this into words but have something different about you, a non-conventional sense of humour, a love for old movies or vinyl records, a unique depth, a tale, a story, a scar, a secret peculiar to you, don’t come around saying you like to lick armpits or nothing like that, dear God no, nothing freaky just something, one is enough, intriguing enough to for the other party to latch onto, but please under no circumstance must you lie or form depth or complication to generate intrigue, it never ends well, besides in this generation being drama-free and sans quirk is a quirk of its own.

    3) Always be yourself, it helps, dating can be stressful and there is always that always put your best foot forward issue but please come as you are, don’t start off with an accent i can’t place because sooner or later an ‘heck-squeegze meel’ will pop out of your mouth. If you are in a fancy restaurant and you are not used to using 8 pieces of cutlery to eat, borrow yourself brain and eat with just one piece of cutlery o! i had way too many pieces of food end up in my face. I will not judge you just because you use the soup spoon for the dessert and vice versa, or that your elbows are on the table, or you don’t know how to use the fork and knife properly, all these things can be learned if you want to, life is not that hard, it’s the two of us, not buckingham palace, be yourself, if you want to use your hand on that piece of chicken, please, make like the kitchen utensils in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast and be my guest and no i’m not asking you to go all tasmanian devil on the poor thing, manners are still required, just be yourself, because your true nature will always shine through inevitably, if he or she likes it, then so be it, if not c’est la vie.

    4) intellect (this is non-negotiable) i like to pick people’s brains and nothing turns me on faster than engaging conversation, sarcasm, quick wit, humour and open-mindedness are all ancilliary here. be open to talk,listen and learn, know a little bit of this and a little bit of that, no one likes a know-it-all, not even a know-it-all, Overskill Kills! Bottomline, i really don’t give two pieces of cutlery about what you look like physically, but if your mind is beautiful enough, you can have this kid whipped.

    but as with most things, there are no hard and fast rules, life still has a way of throwing that curveball from way out of left-field that can leave you speechless, leave your mind open to new things so you can enjoy life’s little surprises ^_^

    • I agree with all your points, especially #2. Its always nice to know that different/weird thing about you ๐Ÿ˜€

  9. Isok! Since I have never been on a date, no comments. Kai, I need to rectify this anomaly, so am behind Cece, who wants to set P?

  10. Were the third response not attributed to @ibetapassmynebo, I coulda sworn I wrote it. Each point is key…tho I do like to eat out and try new stuff…I swear I’d scream d next time a guy suggests we go see a movie on a first date…be creative I wdnt blame him, there aren’t exactly a lot of options in naij (now fantasizing bou a hot air balloon date…sigh) dreamy…dreamy…

    Ps: Olatoxic luv err…u do know that ur 2nd and 4th requirements kinda contradict themselves right?

  11. Considering the fact that I intend to one day take @ibetapassmynebo out, this blog came at the most appropriate time..I call it the “Take @ibetapassmynebo Cheat Sheet”.

    Thanks to the author for this big break. God go make you bigger o!

  12. @MichDeji

    1. I’d love a lady who Smiles a lot(nt too much);some1 who can diff btw a joke ฮ‘ฬ…ฬฒฯ€ฯ‘ sumtin serious;though I wldnt push too far

    2. I’m attracted to what I see;a great outfit;elegant ฮ‘ฬ…ฬฒฯ€ฯ‘ sexy;no heavy makeuP(turnoff);some little cleavage(*coughs*)

    3. Good diction as well as a good listener;nt d type who’s always interrupting.

    4. I’ll let her have an idea of my financial status;I wldnt be takin a lady out on a N15K/meal date(at least for now),but i’d make it worthwhile;dt I can guarantee

    5. I love pleasant suprises so any little twist she’l liKe 2 hv on d date wld be welcome

  13. For those who wanna set P, I’m here o!
    But, no car o..and after Halima, I’ve been off dates…
    So we’ll just skip to the P

  14. Good lips, good smell, fear God, confidence (lil arrogance), light complexion! Looks vain? To each his own!

    BTW, the real ‘P setters’ are the pple wit long comments Yes? Well, we see u, ur list is almost like a blog, haba!

  15. 1. Not full of Self- She must not be proud (everyone needs pride but there is an acceptable amount.) Our convo should not be about how a or b did something and do people know who she is.
    2. Knows what is Happening- Should have an idea about world events not only about which star is dating who or who is who at the moment.
    3. Honest but not brutal though- She must be truthful, I don’t expect you to tell me everything or anything about yourself but don’t lie and don’t make up stuff. Express your views but know when its boundering on being hurtful
    4. Can help keep a convo alive- I talk a lot but I don’t want to be the only one talking, contribute, take over and lead once in a while, I don’t want to only hear yes, I agree, is that so?, hmmm etc
    5. Glutton- Who wants to go out with a pig?

  16. Ibeta thanks for that one about venue. I think setting proper dates are never revealing so i would rather do something relaxing that would let our personalities reveal themselves.

    If you ask me “so what’s up” more than 2ce,know that i’ll keep posting u for subsequent hangouts/dates till Jesus comes to judge you for making me suffer.

    I love men who understand sarcasm and i love them more if they can banter with me…yes i’m very sarcastic!

    Sense of humour and smartness are wrapped into one

    Looking good even if its a singlet you’ve got on(no pot belly pls)

    And though this is last,its the first thing i always look out for…chemistry!

  17. @ Didi & iam_dQ: Thanks

    @ Davy Jones: Thanks, but are you trying to take usurp our baba blue’s post?! /:)

    @ Ayaba Not really.
    #2 means three or more is a crowd. eg If he/she brings a friend along, it’s no longer a date but a hangout. Even if it’s 2 couples
    #4 means the both of you are in a public place and other pple are also present but uninvolved in your date. eg restaurant, cinema, tennis court/match, hot air balloon (only counts if a ‘pilot’ is present, can’t be jus the 2 of u), etc. Feel me now?…

  18. *clears throat and drops last carrier logo*

    Mehn…5 things? Okay oh.

    1. Never mind what I said, if the babe is not smart, I swear I would notice and send you home. With your own vex money.

    2. I’m ugly. Opposite poles attract. Nuff said. At least try to look beautiful for me. I’m not saying come looking like Nicki Minaj. But I’m not saying come looking like Jane from Tarzan either.

    3. If we go out to eat, and you order beyond your own pocket, I will call my friend to come pick me, and leave you with my car. Locked.

    4. Please, come early. I’m not a hooker.

    5. If after everything, you no fit call to say “I had a nice time” even if na lie, I will haunt your nightmares on a broomstick!


    That should be all.

  19. Some of the comments come be like 3 posts in one. Awon well yes..@ibetapassmynebor is def sick.boat cruise kor .. And @olatoxic’s no5 is soo important!!. Bye.

  20. I’m a ‘go with the flow person’ so I don’t really have many rules about what to look out for.

    I look for ‘interesting’. Which manifests in many forms.

    My only deal breakers on a date are bad diction and obvious stupidity, those I cannot, nay, will not abide. I will endure as long as I can and bail on her as soon as possible.

  21. Lool @ Davy Jones’ metaphors tho…

    -Sense of humour.
    -looks and dresses good.
    -She shud b able to talk and not just sit there smiling d whole time
    -I’d like it if she was a bit mischeivious.

    Those of us interested in setting P, can we just get on with it already?

    That will be all.

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