The First Visit

@bule_jr: ok this wasn’t on the menu as well but I decided that it could fit the bill because many guys actually like to do this kind of paroles. Enjoy.

@O_Toby & @bule_jr

You have had that first date, it wasn’t bad but you know it could have been better.

You have sweet-talked your way into seeing her yet again as you will like to make amends but this time instead of going out, you offer a chilled day at home and ‘surprisingly’, she agrees.

The first visit is your second chance to make a first impression if you already haven’t or win her over for the second time but this time ‘Permanently’ ! I always put more effort into visit like this particular one.


Because she is coming into your abode and she will make all her conclusions about you from the scent of your flat to your personal hygiene.

She is going to want to fill in any gaps that she couldn’t on that first date.

I am not saying you should completely go out of character but a certain part of your *natural cool A-Game* MUST surface.

Women in our time certainly don’t like to be freaked out, so you must avoid things that ought to be romantic but a little bit too much.

What am I on about?

Decorating your bed with rose petals, candles lite all over, and a funny scent from those wall fresheners (the worst).

I mean your not trying to propose to her or make a baby. Keep it simple and real.

I always start my preparation with fresh sheets, what happens if she decides to sleep over and you have sheets from two fortnights ago? Surely she won’t return.

Next off, is making sure your wardrobe is in order, trust me they love to have a sneak peek at what your collection looks like and how tidy it is. The room in general has to look sane enough to get you a chance of scoring(if that’s your plan though).

While I advise you to focus on your room, don’t loose attention of other areas (esp the bathroom, kitchen and sitting area)

Now, she rings the bell. This is your home, so you can’t be dressed like your about stepping to a club or a dinner. I usually go for casual jeans or three-quarters and a t-shirt.

You welcome her, show her round and take her to the living room. (NOT THE BEDROOM).

The usual courtesy should follow, do you want something to drink?, have you eaten? Etc. The answer is almost always NO, but be prepared!

Its your place and she’s new to it. So making her feel comfortable is your role. Engage her in a conversation or watch something funny.

Its always easier when you don’t think of scoring!

Time passes and her tummy rumbles, you might have made food b4 her arrival, but where’s the fun in that? Cooking together brings you closer,even if you are absolutely crappy at it. You cut the onions while she blends, she teases, you laugh…… (Get our picture now?)

At this point you both are comfortable, share a glass of wine, laugh some more and the night might just begin.


This is a more familiar kind of parole for naija people abi? Albeit for completely different reasons. You see as I didn’t call it ‘date’ abi? Yes na PAROLES.

I know for a fact that if the other person can feel very comfortable with you alone, it brings a lot of dimensions into the whole thing.

As long as you don’t go overboard with this, trust me you CANNOT go wrong.

So guys and girls, how do you plan for the first visit ey?

What goes through your minds before a first visit?

Assume that you are both the visiter and the visitee on this one.

Use the comment box and share your stories.

P.S There will be a mystery guest blogger at 1.30pm today.

Anyone that can guess correctly who that person is and tweets #datedaysfreebie at me will get something from me. πŸ˜€


it starts tomorrow at 10am

it starts tomorrow at 10am


17 responses to “The First Visit

  1. Damn! I wasn’t first. 😦

    I agree though. It’s much easier when you’re not thinking of hitting it. Keeps all the blood in your brain so you can concentrate on the task at hand.

  2. Nice post. As the visitor, I expect pure simplicity, don’t play any Celine Dion or Michael Buble. Take care of your bathroom especially, I can excuse a rough bedroom. Lastly, your apartment has to smell nice…yeah, abd if we have to cook, better have everything we need & I don’t want dirty dishes in your sink. πŸ™‚
    As the visitee, I usually don’t like my room to be overly made up (I’m a student with just one room); I don’t wanna come across as “trying to impress”. I have to smell nice too incase it gets too cold and we need to cuddle πŸ˜‰

  3. Pretty decent post. This is exactly my kind of mind-set… minus the ‘scoring’ bits.

    But come to think about it, why the heck is there so much ado about scoring on this date days, haba?! Some serious konji spirit dey waya all de bobo wey dey write for hia (minus me, of course!) πŸ˜€

  4. Sounds nice 4 a first visit. I think a drink and biscuit or cookies wud be nice cos It might not be very comfortable 2 eat food in someone elses house. But I agree with cookin the food 2gether,Cool!!

  5. I really think the cooking together thing works…,u could even throw in a few dumb remarks about cooking so she can tease and laugh(this is d point where they think us so cute),girls really dig this….

  6. For me, I ll keep the room neat but not too neat, I want to keep it a bit realistic. Fresh sheets is a must. The room should smell decent, a subtle scent is ideal. Make sure the bathroom is presentable. Cooking is cool if she is down for it as well. If not order some food. I always keep some wine and a sweet liqueur. You could even watch a movie in the house, let her pick. Microwave some popcorn and all. The best way to handle the first visit is to keep things simple. Don’t make the move until you feel she is completely comfortable and is even looking expectantly into your eyes.

  7. Ohh I gues uve said almost everything….but crazy as it as…I wanna see the bathroom….
    Lot of things can happen from just tryin to wash ur hands…trust me..

    The cooking (y)…simplicity (y)…wine..(Y)…just pray Nepa doesn’t eff u…oda wise….buy fuel!

  8. “Decorating your bed with rose petals, candles lite all over, and a funny scent from those wall fresheners (the worst)”…yea, u dnt want to look like you’re trying too hard cos that’s jst saad lol.

  9. Two words to have in mind, keep it – clean and simple.

    Also have some entertainment just in case you get bored of talking and start searching for gist or if there’s tension from being in a closed space, movie, cards, games. you could find out what she likes before that day.

  10. This post is ……#winning!!!

    I feel it was written by me cos it is my idea of a good date eeerrrrrrr………….paroles!

  11. makes sense.
    Be nice if we naijas could warm up to this kind of dating minus d scoring**

    Got d opportunity to try it out spontaneously, didn’t think he was that good a cook,
    but he knew that recipe uber well.
    Of course there just happened to be a chilled bottle of champagne
    to keep us company while we cooked.
    Would definitely try it again!
    **sigh** pity he just wasn’t my type!

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