Kevin Pt. II


The phone rang.

He got up from the table, staggering slightly. His head swam and for a second, he thought he was going to fall. He laughed shakily, his hands gripping the table for support. He walked on water-legs to the bed where he had dropped his phone and as his hands touched it, it stopped ringing.

“Shtuupid shit!” he yelled at the phone them suddenly burst into fits of giggles.

He unlocked the phone and with unsteady hands opened the call tab. His bleary eyes tried to focus on the number when the phone began to ring again.

He clicked the answer button.

“Ye..yesh?” he slurred.

“My my. Aren’t we in our cups today” a dry voice said.

Kevin’s hands tightened on the phone, holding it in a death grip.

“You!”

The voice chuckled softly. “Yes Kevin. Me”

“How did you…getch this number!” Kevin yelled, his red rimmed eyes bulging in fury.

“Oh I have my ways, don’t you worry. It’s been 6 months since they died yes?”

“DONCHU FUUUGKING TALK ABOU THEM!”

Kellan chuckled. “How does it feel? How does it feel to be without a family? To be alone? You feel the enjoyment I feel? The freedom?”

Kevin shook with fury.

“I heard it was an electric mishap. A freak accident. How convenient Kelvin. Did you set that up for them to die?”

“I DIDN…I…FUUCGK YOU!”

“You were oh so righteous, condemning me as a murderer. I bet you did a jig when I got Life, Kelvin. Who knew you had it in you? Killing your beautiful wife, your sons, and daughter. Bravo!”

Tears of fury blurred Kevin’s eyes.

He knew he had to cut the phone but something stilled his hand. The need to punish himself.

He did kill them.

God damn Kellan but he had killed them.

He swallowed a thick sob.

“Are you crying?” Kellan’s voice softly asked. “Big man tears. Let me guess. You are planning on killing yourself aren’t you?”

Without waiting for a reply Kellan continued, his voice turning hard.

“You are a weak man. Fucking weak! At least I faced my wife when I did her in. I faced her! Bashed her head in repeatedly even after she had died. I fucking kept bashing. That was power you snivelly bastard! I made sure I touched my girl before I choke…”

Kevin decided he had heard enough. He ended the call, eyes streaming as he stared at the black object in disgust. Suddenly, with a scream of rage, he threw his phone at the wall, staring as it bounced and hit the floor, falling apart on collision.

He stood staring at the phone. As if daring it to come back on.

He slid down to the floor and curled himself in a foetal position.

“I killed them…”

A heart-wrenching sob, tore away from his throat, coming out of his mouth in waves.

He screamed curses as tears ran unchecked down his face.

He choked, sputtering as another scream vented itself out of him.

“Grace…my love…Josh, oh Josh…Amy…you would have become a beautiful woman…My Luke…my family…”

His heart twisted in agony and shame.

Grief tied his soul in knots.

His body shook, his chest heaved. “My love..”

He murmured wordlessly, rocking himself to sleep.

The cold, damp floor woke him and sobered him up.

He got up and cleaned the dried snot on this face with the edge of his shirt. Gingerly, he walked back to the table where the gun still lay.

He eyed it.

Beside it was a half glass of rum. He took the glass, hands trembling from the chill.

He needed a drink.

He lifted it to his mouth and suddenly, threw the glass to the floor, spilling its content.

“No..” he whispered. “No more drinking. Grace would not have approved. The children cannot see me this way.”

He sat down and picked up the gun. He opened the chamber and stared at the one bullet in with a mixture of surprise and fear.

He’d have blown his brains out, had he pulled the trigger the second time.

Slowly, he extracted the lone bullet and palmed it. Admiring its shape, he brought it to his lips and slowly kissed it, whispering the name of his wife and kids.

He whispered two other names.

The bullet felt cold against his lips.

He couldn’t kill himself.

He had a man to save.

————————————

It took him two weeks to get himself physically presentable.
His unkempt beard was the first to come off.

He clothes finally got the water and soap treatment. He could almost hear Grace scold him about his dirty clothes.

He bought new clothes with money he could ill afford to spend.

Yet, two weeks wasn’t enough time to remove the drowning look in his eyes.
The eyes his partner -former partner- James was staring at in incredulity.
“You wanna do what??”
Kevin sighed. “I know…odd. Since it’s still open, I will take it.”
James stared at him again, taking in his gaunt look.

Kevin tried to remain cool under scrutiny. He knew what James was seeing; a man trying to cling to life, a desperate man.

He cleared his throat. “Just this one favour. No one in the firm would take the case. I will do it pro-bono. I am not looking for money. Just…”

James nodded. He was right. No one wanted the case anyway.
‘My God he looks dead’ he thought morbidly as he brought out a file.
“I hope you know what you’re doing” James said solemnly as he handed the thin blue file to Kevin.

He watched him open it, eyes unreadable.
“Thanks James” he whispered, voice gravelly. James waved off the thanks.
Suddenly he stood up.

“Thanks man. Gotta go”

Without waiting for a reply, he got off the swiveling seat and exited the office, leaving James staring at the seat in thought.

——————————————

“Your case has been reopened”
Kellan’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Oh? By whom?”
“Mr Kevin Ibinado”.

Kellan paused, surprised.

“Trouble, Mr Kellan?”

He shook his head.

Of course that was a lie.

He was a bit troubled.

——————————————-

They met in court and no word passed between them. As they sat opposite each other, waiting for the judge to begin the appeal proceeding, Kellan turned to his attorney.

“Look I’m glad you decided to come to your senses and represent me…”

Kevin looked at him with dead, expressionless eyes.

Kellan shuddered slightly, turning away, breaking eye contact.

He became worried.

‘Would he try to destroy my case?’ he thought to himself.

He stole glances at Kevin but couldn’t read his face.

‘A dead man’  he thought and rubbed his arms exposed by the short sleeved prison garb briskly.

The court was in session minutes later.

Suddenly, Kevin turned while the prosecution was speaking.

He beckoned for Kellan to lean in closer.Kellan leaned in.

“I might not have been able to save mine” Kevin whispered “But this is justice for your family”

Kellan turned, eyes confused before he realized what what going to happen in growing horror.

He tried to move but Kevin slammed the butt of the gun which he had brought out of his jacket, under his jaw and without hesitation, pulled the trigger.

The loud report of the gunshot startled everyone.

The court was in shock and a bailiff turned, throwing up breakfast on the floor at the sight of the blood.

“That was for your wife and daughter” he whispered to the bloodied head flopped beside him.

He had redeemed himself.

He was saved.

Suddenly, he chuckled.

“Finally got rid of him, Grace” he whispered as the police drew nearer to his blood splattered body to arrest him.

Ego, Power & Respect


Hello People

I think I’ll start off by giving the definitions of the three things I want to talk about:

I see Power as an attribute that allows you to influence people and/or outcomes to favor your desires.

The Ego is a sense of self esteem, or self worth. However, since this is Date Days 2, I’d like you to assume that my use of “Ego” here is synonymous with pride.

Respect is the feeling of admiration you have for someone or something.

Power comes in many forms, mostly physical and materialistic. These forms of power are truly advantageous, but I’m more interested in the mental and emotional form of power. You see, you could move people towards your goals by brute strength, or by using money but that is pure coercion. I believe there is greater power in having the genuine love and respect of others. They will bend to your will out of their own free will. Let’s transfer this thought into a relationship between two people. The power you have over someone else is yours simply because that person trusts you with his/her emotions.

Manipulating someone’s emotions is a blatant sign of weakness. Your partner is neither your property, nor your slave. Respect your partner, and more importantly, respect yourself. How you treat yourself plays a huge role in the way others treat you. Love yourself, but do not be self-absorbed to the degree that you’re blind to the feelings of your partner. Selfishness is an extension of the negativity of having a swollen ego. All you will end up doing is taking your partner for granted. Humble yourself and listen to your partner. Be patient. Be thoughtful. Try and put yourself in that person’s shoes all in your attempt to understand him/her.

Respect also has a lot to do with self-restraint. Not everyone is an open book; respect people’s space and their right to privacy. Better still, respect people by leaving them alone especially when you know you know you aren’t what they need/want. Be honest with yourself at all times, and try to differentiate between offenses to your ego and those to your person.

It takes a lot of time and patience to get to know someone first, talk more of accepting them for who they are. It also takes humility to respect people’s habits. It’s also a sign of strength of character when you refrain from the guilt trips, the emotional blackmail et al.  Everyone has something to offer, and it’s pure arrogance to think you’re better than your partner. Nobody knows it all. I mean, nobody’s perfect.

Don’t misunderstand me though. I’m not saying you should turn yourself into a doormat, or an emotional dustbin. If you’re constantly being maltreated, respect yourself and leave.

Reflect on these little questions:

Do you know what you want from your partner?

Have you ever manipulated your partner’s emotions?

To what degree does your pride affect your relationship with others?

Are you willing/ready to receive the same treatment you dish to your partner, or do you have a double standard?

Are you quick to be defensive when an issue arises? Are you quick to play the blame game?

@MrOmidiran

The Order Of Things


Under the meager amber light, in the privacy of fogged windows, the slightly custardy smell of David’s ejaculation fills the car. In a few minutes, he would clean up most the evidence of his ‘pleasurement’ from his uncle’s vehicle but Laide would forget an earring.

The following morning, Laide’s forgotten earring would be the cause of another argument between Mr. and Mrs. David’s uncle, all the way from their big home in the old-money section of the Magodo residential area to the Third Mainland Bridge where the missus would demand to be let out as soon as she discovers a shiny piece of condom wrapper. The letters ‘G’, ‘O’, ‘L’ and half a ‘D’ are usually not so upsetting – they are however printed on a maroon background in the same colour as the height of David’s excitement.

David’s uncle wouldn’t have been excited about David using his new Mercedes S550 for intimate purposes but the smile on Laide’s face when a classy car had picked her up and parked at the dark end of a quiet street would have melted his old heart. With only a little seduction, as prescribed by David’s friends, Laide’s purple panties had obeyed gravity.

Laide had asked David to turn on the air conditioner but David had immediately claimed that he liked things hot and steamy. Actually, he had been as uncomfortable as Laide but he was conserving some fuel for the drive back home. He had spent the last Thousand Naira in his wallet buying canned percentages at a supermarket down the road from where he picked the girl and he would have had an extra Five Hundred Naira if she had not wanted Fox biscuits. There was just enough gas in the car to get him home without alerting the gas-level warning lights and his uncle’s car, as his uncle always boasted had never had reason to complain about insufficient petrol. It would have been unwise to leave evidence of his indiscretion in so obvious a manner.

It had been somewhat tricky too, the sex, partly because it was David’s first time and because sedan manufacturers apparently do not make allowances for such adventures in their schematics. Laide, as a result, had endured several head bumps to the rhythm of Ice Prince’s not so intelligent music that was coming from the disc player. She had also braved leather seat burns, and general postural discomfort but thankfully, it had been over in four minutes, thirty three seconds. She had confirmed this from the dashboard – David had started grunting on her at exactly sixteen minutes past six and the car had stopped heaving at exactly twenty minutes past six. He’d wiped the retarded look off his face and stopped his “aaaaaaaah” in thirty three seconds –  the clock had showed thirty-four in green immediately he’d stopped spraying the smell of cheap beer in her face.

The most important thing is that about two hours later, when Laide gets back to her cramped room in Unilag, she would have the singular pleasure of telling Vanessa, Seun, Fatima and some random girl that came into the room with Fatima that she has just been fucked in her boyfriend’s S-Class, somehow forgetting that David has never asked her to be his girlfriend and he has never expressly claimed ownership of the car.

On getting home, David would give a status report to Femi and Tolu, his friends, via SMS. Femi wouldn’t reply because he doesn’t think much of the occurrence but Tolu would send his congratulations and also contact Femi. They would discuss David’s recent luck and share a joke about Laide, the plain girl they had encouraged David to talk at some boring party the previous week. They would more so, find wickedly hilarious David’s choice of music. They would then make plans to attend a very lecherous event in the weekend to come, one David’s pocket or personality cannot afford. They don’t even think to invite David. They would shout Magikshun at the same time and burst into laughter again before hanging up. Magician is a peculiar song by Ice Prince, David’s ballad of choice.

Femi would  send a text message almost immediately after the conversation, bragging very casually that he would be attending the event with Vicky, and Tolu, not to be outdone, would let Femi know that he has made plans with Vicky’s less beautiful but still attractive friend, Ginika. Tolu would remember how at the party where he had found Laide for David, he had also found Vicky for himself, but Femi had usurped him. Tolu had, as a result switched over to Ginika and they’d gone back to his place that night. After all their years as friends, he still wasn’t ready to get used to the idea that whenever his taller, richer, better looking friend was around, he was destined to get the second best girl. Femi would control everything wherever they went, from the labels they drank to the time they went home even if he wasn’t financially responsible. If Femi was having a bad night, nobody could have a good one and if he was enjoying himself, he didn’t care about them. Tolu didn’t mind though because Femi, who loved being the center of attraction, was also always the entertainment and even though he charmed all the girls, he couldn’t take them all home. The second best girl would settle for the second best guy as well.

David’s uncle investigations would eventually lead to David.

Femi, without consulting Tolu, would invite David for the party the following week when he realizes that the Mercedes would be much better transport than his Chrysler car which is undergoing repairs and might not be ready in time. Unfortunately, David’s uncle is not as careless with his car keys as he once was but Femi cannot withdraw the invitation. The trio, with their dates would attend the party in Tolu’s uninspiring Toyota. Femi would drive and Tolu would be co-pilot. David would uncomfortably sit in the middle of three almost naked girls.

And they would all have a good time until Vicky leaves Femi when she  discovers two pretty friends in the entourage of a local celebrity. Femi would try to displace Tolu but Ginika and is very content with her just tall enough, just rich enough, just handsome enough man.

In thirty minutes, Femi would be dancing with Laide and David would be left to the awkward task of pretending to have fun all by himself.

@xoAFRO

The Finale!!!!


@bule_jr: WOW! WOW!! WOW!! , What a week. I’m really speechless as to how what started as a conversation with a close friend about ‘The Perfect Date’ became a full series about the said topic.

All I Can say is I’m deeply grateful to everyone for Reading, Retweeting, Commenting and for your general support. It won’t have been possible without you.

A special S/O to all writers on the series, @miafarradaily, @capoeirapanda, @thetoolsman, @Ms_Dania, @KevinWithAnL, @CeceNoStockings, @FreshPrinzVick, @Aeda_, @ukabah, @O_toby and @JibolaL. You guys were simply awesome and made date days a massive success. We would definitely be doing this again. 😀

Also a deep appreciation to @iam_dq, @Adm3on, @ibetapassmynebo and @OlaToxic for their interviews. You guys were awesome and genuinely made my work easier. God bless.

Anyway #thatisall for now.

We have seen what goes on in our minds before a date, how a ‘perfect’ date should go and the totally ridiculous awkward dates.

We delved into what were necessities for us about dates and what goes on in our minds after the date.

We even added a missing file section to discuss things that were not thoroughly handled on the series.

We hope we have helped you out in at least one area.

At the beginning, the ‘Date Days’ series was started so as to really look into the world of dating in the 21st century and seeing what it really entailed.

We will be foolish to not acknowledge that there is no definite structure about dating and everybody just sort of goes with the flow of the moment and anything kinda goes.

The series attempted to just put the bits and pieces of a broken institution together and tried to make meaning of it and get both sexes to discuss and try and reach reasonable conclusions. We achieved THIS!!.

The idea was that we wanted people to learn something tangible about dating that could be applied in everyday relationships but yet in an informal setting where everyone could be REAL.

I know that not all things that have been said in this series will work for everybody but at least one thing will.

Definitely, after following the series since day 1, we expect that no one should leave here without a new trick/scope to woo that guy or girl on your next date. (Please give me my royalty when this happens)

DISCLAIMER @bule_jr will not be held responsible and accountable for any dates that goes right and leads to a baby boom or any date that goes awfully wrong and leads to a loss of your soul mate. 😛.

I really do hope to do this soon again.

Congratulations to @flygurl_aidee who won the gift for correctly answering the question earlier today. 😀

THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!

On to the final discussion for the series.

It’s simple, in one sentence, what have you learned from date days?

Also, what about the series did you NOT like and what will you like to see when next a series comes up.

Your sentence can be long though(its the last day, we’ll allow this) but PLEASE share with us what this series has taught you.

Till I come your way again, I remain the love doctor.

Cheers.

THE END

*******************************************************************************************
Do not forget that decades starts on http://afrosays.wordpress.com tomorrow.. i Strongly recommend this to you.

Tomorrow on Afrosays. 10am

Tomorrow on Afrosays. 10am

Date Days 2


@bule_jr: Again I say hello.
Welcome to Day 2 of Date Days.
Yesterday @miafarradaily gave us a massive insight into the rigorous preparations ‘many’ girls go through to prepare for a date. If you missed it go here http://wp.me/p1maX8-2j
As promised we the guys share with the ladies what we go through to prepare for dates as well. Enjoy.

@capoeirapanda

“Where to take her tonight?”

That’s the question I’m asking myself as I’m sorting work out at the end of the day… It’s 4PM, L and I have a date at 8.

I’m not precisely sure how to do this. It’s been quite a long while since I took anyone out and frankly, the rules of engagement may have changed from like a year ago.

Do I take her to get some food? I could do that, but I don’t want to give her the opportunity to go and be eating all over the place like a rat let loose in a storehouse.
Some of these girls sef; them go dey form for road, then you carry them out and next thing you know them done turn INEC (I Never Chop) officials. I remember one babe like this that I took out; the babe ordered food that could feed half the Spartan army for herself, then she now ordered food for her roommate. Chai! I was burnt ehn! But well, I think I’ll choose when I see her.

If she looks like one food monger, I’m sure she won’t mind if I take her to White House. At least she’ll be able to go ham on some amala and catfish. Lol. I don’t think that would be a very good idea. I’d probably ruin my chances of getting lucky on the first date. Even though, it’s not like my getting lucky tonight is entirely sure sef. All these babes that like to form, I miss those days when you could take a girl to Mr. Biggs and be sure that you’d be getting lucky for like two weeks straight.

Ah… thinking about getting lucky… I should probably buy some condoms, just in case she’s actually down. Wouldn’t want to just rule it out and then find out that I’ve carried last. What kind of condoms to buy? Lemme stop at this pharmacy. Okay, so they don’t have my usual ribbed Trojans. Kama Sutra? Durex? Oh! How about Gold Circle? Cheap and….. no. The babe go just laugh me commot. Let’s go with Durex then. From that picture Tolu sent me, she’s a cream girl so I’ll just do it right.

But yet again, a lot of the time it’s all just forming. Hopefully this “cream girl” won’t kill me with shells o. The last babe my boy Dipo went out with was hot as heck, but sounded like she went to Alakara Nursery & Primary School. And this one better be able to talk as well. Don’t need anyone nodding and answering questions with mono-syllables all night. Me I will kuku just pay the bill and take her home. No time o.

Need to figure out what to wear though; thankfully I’m getting off from work early.

Got a basketball game, then I’ll come back and sort things out.

Had the security man give my car a thorough scrubbing while I dazzled on the court. You see the last thing I wanted was for her to see my car in its a present state. A cleaner car can get me closer to being lucky….even act as the venue as well, who knows?

So game over, killed them on the court.

Got an hour to get ready now so… let’s have a bath so I don’t kill her with body odor.

That’s a definite no-no.

Done in 10 minutes, Lancôme Hypnose shower gel got a brother smelling good. A bit of the same perfume for consistency… quick look in the mirror to make sure I look good without them clothes on. Not bad at all. Beard looking good, shaved the way I like. No underarm hair; makes me feel like a caveman. Hair down there’s kept minimal; we don’t want her having to floss to get hair out of her teeth if she goes down there. The abs stay on point, I’m feeling very beefy.

Okay… we wanna look simple. It’s just a date… nothing big. Well, it’s a first date. Need to make a good impression And there is that chance of getting lucky. Funny how that’s all I’ve been wondering about; to get lucky, or not to get lucky?

I should really stop thinking about that. But of course, I’ll play it smart; play like I’m not interested, but make her laugh a lot… all those things that get them to loosen up. If it happens, it happens. Even though, I wanna see how this one goes, so maybe I shouldn’t let things run too fast, cos I mean, she could be my future… who the hell am I kidding?

Nobody plans a future on a first date! It’s simply a testing the water kinda thing.

Whatever will be, will be and all that.

So, my “getting some” Calvin Klein boxers, I know I’m trying not to get hopes up and all, but if it did happen, it’d be rather messed up if she goes down there and sees these everyday boxers that have a little hole in them…

Let’s remember something about color combinations; too much brightness and you’ll look like a neon sign that’s a bit low on juice, too much darkness and it gets a bit hard to show off all these good looks.

So, gray slacks, red camel-skin moccasins, slim red deep V-neck tee so the abs can say hi, and a blue jacket so I don’t come off too casual… simple white gold chain and bracelet, Cartier belt… another spritz of perfume behind the ears, and I do believe we’re ready to go.

Should be a 15 minute drive to hers. I’ve got 10 minutes till 8. Good… very good. So I can do the fashionable 5 minutes late thing.

At the door, waiting for her to come out.

Remember man; play nice, make her laugh, go easy on the compliments, throw all thoughts of sex out the window, just ride it out and see where it….

Damn… she looks amazing.

DISCLAIMER: This post does not necessarily reflect the dating
preparation rituals of the writer. Although he has a beard which he
keeps well, the writer of this post does not claim to have a six pack.
In fact, he has a rather jelly filled one pack which he is focusing on
applying the laws of division to. Some of these things may, or may not
be true.

*******************************
Guys, any familiar patterns for you?

Do you have any other things you do that you will like to share with us on here?

So Ladies, see what you lot put us through as well. We have a lot of thinking to do before we go out with you guys.

When next your date appears will you pay more attention and see that he has prepared as well? And not always look to be on the receiving end of compliments?

Please share your thoughts, observations and ideas with us using the comment box.

See you same time tomorrow.

Cheers.

Day 2

Day 2

Catching the Spouse


You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, something is not right but you can’t quite figure out what that feeling is about. Your spouse has become distant, he/she is working late on a regular basis or, maybe your spouse has moved out of the house with no explanation. You suspect there may be someone else but every time you bring it up with your spouse, he/she denies the possibility. All the signs are there but you don’t have any proof. So, pay attention to the signs and your instinct but, be careful and don’t confuse signs with proof.

1. “I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You.”
If you hear these words, a big warning bell should go off. This is one of the most consistent things a 
cheating spouse will say. Your spouse may have a deep, loving bond with you but, intense feelings of passion can override the bond with you and cause your spouse to lose sight of his/her true feelings. The 
cheating spouse will develop what I call hormone – induced amnesia. The surging hormones and passion they feel in their new relationship can cause some very skewed thinking.

2. “We are just friends.”
This is also another very predictable statement that will come from a cheating spouse. If your spouse is spending more and more time with this new “friend” then there is probably more to it than mere friendship. Your spouse may feel they have a lot in common with this person, that this person understands them and things they are going through. Whatever the reasons for the friendship, it’s a big warning sign and one you should take seriously.

3. A sudden need for privacy.

If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention cause something is probably up. He/she may start password protecting computer activity. Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse. Big warning sign!

4. “I need some space to figure out my feelings.”
Men and women who are involved with someone else will request 
more space, time alone or away from the family. They may say it is due to confusion over their feelings or stress at work. This can be a sign that there is someone else and the spouse is trying to figure out ways to have more freedom.

5. Regular work habits change.
Working late, going to work at odd hours or, putting in more time than is normal on work related issues can be indications that a spouse is cheating.

6. Spending a large amount of time on the computer.
In today’s world, with modern technology, a person looking for an affair doesn’t even have to leave their home. The ease of internet chat rooms, online dating sites and secret email accounts has caused an alarming increase in 
emotional affairs.
If your spouse is online more than usual, hanging out in chat rooms and visiting pornographic websites then you have reason to be alarmed.

7. Secretive phone calls and more time spent on the phone.
Emotional affairs occur primarily via the phone, especially cell phones. If you find your spouse hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it, then you might want to check your phone records.

8. Behavior that just doesn’t add up.

Not being where he/she was expected to be. Missing time they can’t explain. Money that isn’t accounted for. Receipts for things you don’t have. Missing clothing. Clothing that does not belong to your family. Being caught in little lies about the details of the day.

9. Your Own fears and suspicions.
If you find yourself looking for excuses for your spouse’s behavior or trying to convince yourself that they would never cheat then that is a warning sign. Your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators that something is wrong. If you suspect your spouse might be cheating on you, do some investigating and then 
talk to him/her about what you’ve found. Do it in a way that is calm and courteous. Ask for honesty. Be prepared for lies. It is a sad fact that people having affairs become excellent liars. People who never told a lie before in their lives. Trust your gut instinct but get hard, cold proof also.

Are these real?
Do they work?
What are you supposed to do when you find out?
Have you ever had to deal with a cheating spouse. What helped you out that time. Better yet, are YOU a cheating spouse? Why do you do it?
So many questions, so few answers again. Please share your thoughts in the comments box.

Cheers.

Well I just wrote this today because I figured I wouldn’t come out of my ‘writers block’ if I didn’t try and @Ms_Dania was to write something here and delay my comeback abit but NYSC called and she had to respond 😦 but she has promised to do so when she gets back.

Thanks Rosebuds. Y’all are the best. 😀

Why? Parents Why?


The good times

First time in months i wake up to a Saturday without a wedding, party, house chores or any “necessary paroles”and thought to myself  that i was gonna rest and use the day to recharge batteries after weeks of endless work(i am unemployed by the way) but you get my drift…

Alas! No wedding and party and paroles also applied to my parents too and there i was, stuck home with my parents for an entire Saturday(Now i miss the EPL, La Liga, and to patronize my country Africa Magic *cringe*)…

7.42a.m I see the PING!!!! on my phone and yes its my mum who says “what are your runs today like?” I say “i want to chill and rest at home” and she says”  ose omo mi, i need you to go to surulere, and then goes on and on to give me a number of errands….O_o

My mum starts with a tonne of Yoruba prayers: wa ri omo toju re, wa bi ibeji ma wa ba e to won dagba, wa dagba dada wa de ri ise ti olorun fe fun e(for translation find a local yoruba lady :D) before she goes on to ask you and i can’t just say NO. i actually find it funny now that i write about it.

There are times we all just want to be alone and just have the smell of our rooms and our thoughts to ourselves but in my house this one is NOT possible. My folks must just have an errand to send you on, dont get me wrong i LOOOOVE my folks but at times its just not ideal..

But why are many Nigerian parents like this?

I know in Nigeria we are brought up to respect not just parents but adults in general, but sometimes doesnt it just go too far? Why is it hard for “many” Nigerian parents to just give children space and not always feel the need to encroach all the time.

The minute we just speak out and ask for a little break, you get that “talk” about being very ungrateful and only do stuff for them when you need something? you don’t get it?? Errr ok……. sure you don’t? *sigh* Never mind. Maybe its just me.

A couple of weeks ago, i was out with my friends and we spent 3hours talking about our parents and i noticed from them that nigerian parents feel a need to be in control and monitoring all your movements despite the fact we are in our very own rights adults.

Try Dialogging at times and you are said to be rude as we don’t talk back to parents.

How are we to share our views if we cant talk with them?

How are we to go on telling them “stuff” when they listen but still feel their way is the right one?

I can go on and on but #pause.

I am sure our parents always thought they were going to be the dream parents, and i am certain many of us have said things like this “i wont be like my dad/mum, i am going to be a happening dad/mum and my kids will like me” but i am certain that till you get your own kids you just never quite know how it’s going to turn out, right?

My last Post was rather long so i will stop here and allow y’all to give tales (good&bad) about how you fare with your own parents.

P.S this is not a rant. 😀

Cheers.

*sigh*