Disclaimer: All ideas expressed herein, are solely based on the writer’s opinions and experience. You Do NOT have to agree, in fact, your disagreement and personal opinions are much welcome in the comments section. I would love to hear them. *Snickers*
OK. So I hear this is very respectable ground, and I will do my best not to sully it with my… whatever it is I have that could possibly sully up a nice blog like this. I’m supposed to talk about power and respect in relationships, although with my Forever Alone status, you might be a bit hard pressed to believe me. To make it easier for you, I have decided to use an everyday analogy that will put what I’m saying into context:
The Power Holding Company of Nigeria (PHCN.)
Yes. Your relationship with PHCN is the ultimate example of power and respect in a relationship. Still don’t understand? I’ll explain.
See, I often hear that in a relationship there has to be one domineering partner and then the other one. Now, do you feel like your partner is currently holding all the power in your relationship? (Power Holding. Get it now? Huh? Yes? No? Oh.) Well, a girl can try. :’( OK, let me give you a scenario where you can see this display of power holding and utter lack of disrespect.
It’s the big El Clasico game. You’ve gathered all your buddies and the beer is free-flowing. It’s a wonderful evening. Now, Messi has just tackled C. Ronaldo and is gunning towards Casillas. You can tell that if he makes this goal, it will go down in the annals of history. The room is quiet, all eyes are glued to the TV, the glass of beer is sweating in your hands as your heartbeat is reaching quickstep tempo. Your mouth is hanging open, and Messi kicks the ball hard and it’s heading to the goal post almost as fast as a bullet and suddenly…
Ahhh!!! Won ti mu ina lo!
If that ain’t power holding and disrespect at its utmost, I don’t know what is.
Now, if your relationship feels like that, it’s unhealthy. A PHCN-consumer relationship is not the way forward. You know how even your kind-hearted-gentle-wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly grandmother becomes a foul-mouthed, evil monster, whose tongue would rival a sailor’s in cussing, when it comes to cases of PHCN. Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about. This kind of relationship will quickly turn resentful, if it hasn’t already. Especially if you’re not the PHCN in the relationship. That one is just the height. Your partner will literally be taking your light every time, leaving you in darkness. We all know how that feels especially when you need that light to iron your shirt for work tomorrow.
Even the people at PHCN hate PHCN. PHCN probably hates itself. It’s an insecure company, preying on the weakness of a people that have almost no choice in the matter. Lucky for you, you have more degrees of freedom in your relationship. (If you don’t, there is a BIG problem.) Now, you’re reading this and you’re wondering “Is my partner a power holder? Does (s)he continually disrespect me?” You want to know if your partner has the PHCN-Syndrome. I will give you some classic signs of the PHCN-Syndrome.
- If your partner is constantly trying to make you look bad so that they can look good, they probably have PHCN-Syndrome.
- If they have violent mood swings, (you know, one minute low current, another minute high current until they burn all your appliances,) PHCN-Syndrome right thurr.
- If your partner is rude, shows up at the wrongest time (see above scenario,) stingy, and always disgracing you, and does this constantly, hate to break it to you, but your partner is suffering from classic PHCN-Syndrome.
Needless to say, you need to leave this relationship. FAST. It is a breeding ground for life’s mosquitoes. Trust me; you DO NOT want life’s mosquitoes.
What you want is a relationship like the one between you and Google. Now, we all know that relationship isn’t perfect, but that’s OK because nothing is perfect. More often than not, Google is reliable, highly knowledgeable, a great listener, and most of all, your friend. Let me elucidate.
You’re in school, and midterms are around the corner. You know you should study and you will! Just as soon as you finish the entire season of Game of Thrones. And that party on Friday at Lekan’s private beach house. Of course, Saturday is no good because you have to rest and then, Sunday you go to church. Sunday evening, you realize you are dead. 70 pages of required reading, you’re still on the acknowledgements. Then, it hits you – Google it, baby! Result? A.
This is what I mean. Your Google relationship is fun, exciting, and you learn something new every day. Your partner is more than fine with letting you take the spot light sometimes and then picking up the slack when you’re too tired to care. As long as you have a Google account with good privacy settings, this relationship is long term. And respect? How can respect not grow in such an environment? There’s happiness, love, friendliness. I would love to talk more, but I’m only being paid to talk about power and respect.
By the time there is a power tussle in a relationship, things are ALREADY going downhill. Don’t be with someone that will disrespect you and won’t let your light shine. Don’t try to lord it over your partner. For the men, this is the 21st century; there can be respect without all that “I’m the man of the house” type-a thing. If you don’t respect yourself, it really is hard for anyone to respect you. You should be comfortable, and able to discuss whatever, without feeling like you’ll be put down.
And if you’re still with your PHCN partner, for some reasons I cannot even begin to understand, and you still want to be in such a relationship… you might need a generator. I’m NOT advising you to cheat. I’m just saying… you might need a generator.
Special thanks to Beauty, my muse extraordinaire.