The Missing Files


Ok so we’ve run through it all in the last few days. So far, we’ve seen: The Perfect Date, Worst Dates (even I have a tale or two or three or whatever about those), Preferences, Afterthoughts and so forth.

Through it all, I’ve silently watched, sometimes even amused.

While it would seem we’ve got everything covered with the first date, I still feel like there were a few things missing. I mean, yes you can wing it from there forward, after all you are an adult. However, the second date IS as important as the first. Just as the time in between the first and second date also matters.

It would be good look to take her to a French restaurant (like our Boss, Fresh Prinz), however, it is not a sharp move to ‘show yourself’ when you’re a proper street urchin like myself. I mean, I am not advocating being a cheapskate here. But I am of the belief that there are more creative ways to get to know her without having to stretch your budget thin.

 ◦ XO Wines: There is a winery at 54, Raymond Njoku in Ikoyi run by a Lebanese guy, Roger Chedid. Roger is one of the nicest and open people I know. You can literally walk into the winery, introduce yourself. “So what is your consign?” Take her to the winery (IF she’s the type to be interested in History and of course good wine. Of course, you can go a couple of times before, to get yourself acquainted with everyone in-house.

◦ A quiet picnic at Muri Okunola Park: You have most likely passed it by a million times without realizing that it is there. All you need is a basket packed with the things you’d like to eat. A small boombox, or iPod speakers that you can play soft music from, while you talk. What this affords you is the opportunity to be able to just TALK in a place that seems to be a bubble in the concrete jungle that is Lagos. 

◦ Beach things: Yesssss I said it. But see, this is with a twist. I’ve learnt that you can avoid the noise and straight up raucousness that comes with going to the beach. Just pack a blanket and your basket of goodies and you’re good to go. When you hit the shoreline, and walk due east till you’re way past all the music and noise and all you can hear is the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. Insane shit, I tell ya. Ive tried it before.

◦ Throw-it-down: This one might be a bit dicey. For a couple of reasons. First of which is this: If you have a reputation (that is largely untrue) like mine, 😐 when you suggest a throw-down a few things buzz around in her head:​‪
• 1. “Ohhh, sneaky bugger, he’s trying to lay that pipe on me”
2. He doesn’t think me attractive enough to be seen in public. Hence, you’re advised to save this for the second date.
• The second reason this might be dicey is because, well not everyone can be Chef Fregz. So if cooking isn’t your thing, STEER CLEAR. That said, don’t try that microwaving‬ paroles oh. ‬
That said, if you do opt for throwing-it-down, keep it simple. A meal of Spaghetti and meatballs done right served with red wine; will go a longer way than if your Chef Fregz Pasta Bella Bella goes all wrong.

Then finally, there’s the sex.
YES, I seem to be the guy that it usually falls to, to talk about these things :(. Oh well. First off, this is not a P. You need to continually remind yourself of that. It is very important, because the rules in this case are totally different. The modalities may vary from meeting a guy/girl that is open to having sex on the first/second date to one who is in it for the end games (i.e. Marriage). YES, I’ve met such. That said, keep your mind and eyes open for the subtle clues (remember the rules are different), and do not move until the Green light says GO.