@bule_jr: Good day people. Welcome to the penultimate day of date days.
Today, we are going to discuss what goes on in the mind of both sexes after a first date.
So its noon and I’m sitting here at the office; unopened files stacked high on my mahogany desk, staring blankly at the monitor and seeing absolutely nothing.
Shit! I was loosing my mind. For two days now I had not been in my usual ’employee of the month’ mode. For two days I’d been distracted. For two days I’d had my mind stuck on her. Mscheww.
It all started a month ago with a series of unfortunate tweets (curse you twitter).
“@her: Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.”
“@me: T-shirt feminism…smh. RT @her: Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.”
“@her: lol…#UknowThis. Its my baby sister’s. RT “@me: T-shirt feminism…smh. RT @her: Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.”
And so it began, from mentions and subs to DMs then BBM and finally I asked her out on a date.
D-day was pure unplanned perfection. Dinner at French restaurant; she laughed when I ordered ‘frog legs’ but ended up trying some and loved it.
We talked, flirted, connected. We went on to see a movie at a private viewing room.
Horrible movie, but it gave us more time to talk.
She moved in closer, I put my hand on her shoulder, she put her head on my chest. Perfection.
Then I ruined by ‘moving in for the kill’.
She hardly resisted till I hands got under her dress and tried to erhm…adjust her underwear. Then she flipped.
After one hot slap, some yelling on her part, some begging on my part she stormed out of the place. Apparently she had ‘vex money’, mscheww.
So here I am, two days after I still haven’t heard a word from her. Normally I wouldn’t be bothered but I really really like her. A simple no would have sufficed, its not like it was a do-or-die affair. Maybe she’s one of those psycho virgin babes.
She still wasn’t answering my calls. I’d sent her text messages, BBMs, DMs, even called our mutual twitter-buddie just to find out if she was okay.
She seemed so nice and smart and funny and witty. I could’ve waited, I would have if she’d just told me NO.
We could have been good friends at worst but my spiritual konji had to kick in and screw me over. *sigh*
Not sure if I should get her office address from Bukky and accidentally stop over. No? Stalker-ish behaviour?
Screw that jor. I needed to at least apologize.
But wait, my phone’s blinking….new text message.
Ahaa, from Lily.
“Sorry about the other day sweetie. I guess I panicked. I haven’t actually done this in a while. Can you come over say 7pm? I’ve got a bottle of wine with your name on it and an apology I’m sure you won’t turn down. *wink*.”
I put the phone down and said a quick prayer of thanksgiving.
The god of second chances had done it again. 😀
Moral of the story: Guys are just as worried about their first impressions and dates.
Everyone gets a bit panicky in the days after the first date. Especially if there was an awkward moment or two.
You’re never sure if something you said or did might make her change your mind about you. If she may have misread your intentions, or how much you impressed her or messed up generally.
Have no fear, if it doesn’t work out then try again. There are way too many fish in the sea to be bothered about one bad catch.
Have you ever been on a date before? Yes? Great. No? Why are you reading this then? Nawa o.
Have you ever slept with a man on your first date? Anyone?? *crickets*
Well, even if you have, I doubt many of you would admit it. We Nigerians, we’re a die-hard self righteous lot. Not to mention judgmental. Please, as you read on, I plan to exercise your mind muscles. Don’t be scared to let it open up and breathe. Ok? Good. Moving on.
First, let’s all get on the same page. I will be discussing the aftermath of a date. What makes a woman tick after the clinks of cutlery. What makes her want to go with you again. What makes her check her phone 200 times before lunch wondering why you haven’t called her. (Yup! That still happens.) Better still, what makes her allow you to take her to bed after only meeting you for the first time. I am especially fascinated with this one. (Please Note, dear readers. There’s a difference between seeing someone and meeting them. You can see him everyday, crossing the street from your work place to buy newspaper and bread, but until you meet him, you do NOT know him. Capiche? Good)
I used to be of the mindset that all women who slept with guys on their first dates were sluts. Big, fat, desperate sluts. The kind that were so ugly or baseless that you’d even wonder which babalawo they had to rob a bank for to land that date sef. Once you say you’ve done that, I immediately view you in a different light.
Well, that was until my good friend, Funke*, joined the crew and panel beat my one-track minded way of thinking.
Funke was not your bad girl. She was not a slut at all. In fact, she was one of those girls who would never open their mouths to call anyone a slut, regardless of how unchaste they were. Tall, slim, and kind hearted. That was our Funke. Beautiful in that spring fresh way that just made your fingers itch for a camera. Softspoken. Mature. Every guys dream. Most of all, she was decent.
In this age where everyone is perversion crazy, this babe was an untouched lily. Never did midnight calls, never hung out with guys at night, never gave her parents any cause for alarm at all. It was this Funke that I called at 2am to ask how her date went, one fine saturday night, already gathering Funke-you-need-to-loosen-up advice in my head, only to get one sleepy man’s voice answer the phone.
At first, it didn’t register. I kept calling, thinking it was a wrong number or some network problem. Not until she picked the phone herself and told me in very specific terms to buzz off. Mehn, I was completely speechless. The next day I couldn’t call her fast enough. I needed to know. How come? She just laughed at my shock. “It just flowed jare, Ada.” What flowed? It was great? “Great? Maybe. I don’t know. All I know is…It was just sooo….we were way too attracted to each other!”
Ah well. There you have it. More so, they’re still together now. Their relationship is awesome. Beautiful. That day I realised, there was no point. Sex on the first date isn’t a taboo. A little hasty, perhaps, and definitely NOT for everybody, but some guys can play their cards reeeally well. Unlike the ones that will pick their noses and bitch about food prices. Anyway, my write-up, my opinion. Use the comment space for yours!
I’m sure you are wondering where we are going with this.
Its been said that the first 48hours or so after a date are very crucial. How both sexes act can be an indication of what they felt about the other person and whether or not the relationship is going to head somewhere or not.
Anyway let’s discuss a bit.
Under both assumptions that the dates were either very good or downright awkward answer the next few questions:
Guys: How do you feel after a first date and what runs through your mind and why?
Girls: what goes through your minds as well after the date?
What do you want your ‘datee’ to think about after going out on a first date with you and why?
And err…. Sex on the first date?!? Yes? No?
Let’s Really share our thoughts using the comment box.
P.S: There is going to be a surprise on Date Days tomorrow with another guest blogger that wasn’t on the bill before. Watch out.